Positive vibrations and stuff. LOL

I realize I haven't posted anything on here in a while. I keep saying it's because I'm busy, and that IS true. What's also true is I've been bogged down in depression.

I've improved significantly since last year. I consider 2015 the worst year of my life, emotionally. And though I've improved, I've still been feeling so...BLAH. It's just not like me and I'm sick of it.

I've had bouts with depression in the past, but not often, and never anything that even came close to last year. That was ridiculous! So, I got to asking myself, "What changed?"

Here it is ... BIG REVEAL ... I stopped being grateful. 

Now, I know some of you are thinking, "What a crock of sh**." Right? Ha. Ha.

I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. I have used it to great effect in my life and I know, that I KNOW, that it works. So, why was I suddenly in such a hole emotionally?

It was a gradual decline. What you think about, you bring about. If you walk around feeling stressed out and worrying about bills, etc., you are going to bring more of that into your life. You are attracting it to you, whatever it is, good or bad.

I had more stress in my life as a result of an increase in my business (writing). And I let it get the better of me. Rather than focusing on how grateful I was to be able to do what I love (as I'd done in the past), I began to focus on, "How can I keep up this pace?" "Will I make enough to afford a new roof?" And the very worst, I began to wonder if I deserved this success. That was the most damaging of all. Yes, I do deserve to succeed at what I've worked hard for, and so do you. Never doubt that.

A few days ago I began to make a mental list of the practices I used to do, daily, that improved my life. Then, I began to implement them again. This is the third day and already I am in a completely different state of being.

What you think about is not as important as how you feel. That is a very important fact that I'd forgotten. I needed to feel good, and I needed to do it fast. One of the fastest ways for me to do that is to watch the movie, The Secret. I know a lot of people think it's bull. That's fine. You don't have to believe in order for it to work for me. LOL

This isn't anything religious. In fact, I'm not a fan of religion, on the whole. This is science. We all vibrate at a certain frequency. Different thoughts and corresponding emotions change that frequency. We attract people and circumstances into our lives that match our frequency. It's as simple as that. If you walk around angry and feeling like crap, you will attract angry, crappy people into your life.

I don't want that!

So, when a negative thought crosses my mind, I immediately replace it with a positive thought, and a sense of gratitude.

Here's an example. "I haven't been able to workout as much lately. I'm afraid I'll gain weight."

I replace that with, "I'm getting more exercise today than I was last week. I am so thankful for my beautiful, healthy body."

OR

"What if people don't like this book and I've put all this time and energy into it?"

I replace that with, "Readers have specifically asked me for a sequel, so someone DOES like this. I am so thankful to be able to do what I love for a living."

It might sound like a load of hippy crap, but it's working for me. There is always something to be grateful for. That feeling of gratitude will bring more things into your life to be thankful for. Even if you're having the worst day of your life right now, you can read this, can't you? Be grateful for your eyesight, or that you have a computer. See what I mean?

It takes effort, but eventually, it will become second nature to me again. That's what I'm working toward.

I hope this helps someone else who might have been in the same type of emotional black hole. There is a way out. You can survive.

It's amazing what offends people

It really is. In fact, I'm fairly certain that someone read that headline and was ALREADY offended. LOL

Okay, prepare yourselves, this is going to be a bit of a rant.

Since I spend at least some time on social media each day, I've noticed something strange. People don't seem to want you to be happy. I had always heard in the past that if you posted negative things constantly that people would unfriend you. I've certainly stopped following some people who never seemed to have a good day. We all go through rough times, but not every moment of every day.

Here's the weird thing I've been experiencing: Every single time I post about accomplishing something POSITIVE I get unfriended by at least one person.

I was thrilled to hit the USA Today list for the second time in my career. Of course, I didn't do it alone. Everyone who helped make it possible is awesome. My point is, I posted about it and lost 3 friends. WTF?

A few days later I posted about my workout schedule and got unfriended by a few more people.

The next day I posted about my latest karate training session and I lost MORE friends.

Now, if I clogged up my author page with nothing but personal stuff, I might could understand people no longer liking the page. I do occasionally post some fun/personal stuff, but mostly it's about writing. But on my personal page, I have a life. That is allowed, you know? LOL

I don't share anything deeply personal, but I see nothing wrong with posting about my life goals. Earning a black belt in krav maga and Shotokan are major life goals for me. It's something I should have done 10 years ago, but due to things I could not control, I've been on hold. Well, not any more. I CAN control things now and I want what is mine. 

Nothing in life has ever been handed to me, whether it was writing or karate, or anything else, I've worked for it. 

In the past few months I've even had people send me hateful messages on Facebook saying that they don't care about my workouts or things like, "I'm overweight and I don't want to hear about how much you workout." And your situation is my fault? I'm truly sorry that anyone is struggling with weight. I've been there and it sucks. But I'm not there any longer because I took charge of my body and my life. Staying put is a personal choice and NOT my fault.

Before anyone takes that the wrong way, I'm not making fun of anyone. I wouldn't do that. It's cruel and horrible, and not at all who I am. I'm just saying that we create our own reality to a large extent. And if someone is sitting around pointing fingers and being offended because you are meeting your goals, they have too much time on their hands.

This past year depression really knocked me on my ass. There is no nice way to say that. I was down and I went down HARD. But you know what got me up again? ME! I did it! I pulled myself up off the ground and I came up swinging. And I don't intend to stop any time soon. I have goals to meet! You know who will meet those goals? ME! Not anyone else. If you want something, you have to take it. Get up off your ass, stop judging everyone else and TAKE what you want from life. Work for it. Kick its ass. Get it done.

Okay. End of rant.

The power of positivity

I don't know about anyone else, but it's been one of those weeks for me. I'm not going to get overly personal, but I will share some random positive things. Why? Because it makes me feel better. Maybe it will help some of you out there, who are also stressed out, to feel better as well. Get ready for some ridiculous crap. LOL

These are in no particular order, and they aren't "about" anything in particular either. This is just a random collection of things that make me smile. I hope they make you smile also.

Because everyone needs to feel like a unicorn sometimes. :)

It's Batman on a unicorn. It needs no explanation.

We are now ready for the dookie apocalypse. LOL

Why am I posting this?

This is me in Target. LOL 

I love horror movies, therefore, this is funny. LOL

Hell, yeah! 

This is my mouse pad. Really. 

Because one does not simply stop making Mordor jokes. ;)

Anger management issues. LOL

I have laughed way too much at this.

Because unicorns are awesome. 

This is what I need to look at every day. 

This concludes my randomness. I hope it helped. LOL

Overjoyed

I always knew what that word meant, in a technical sense. However, until recently, I never truly "felt" overjoyed before. I've experienced happiness, but this goes so far beyond that.

Lately, I have been so excited as 4 of my books climb the charts over at Amazon. I'm not posting this to brag, but to share how I'm feeling right now. It seems that a lot of other writers get angry when they see someone posting about book ratings or good reviews. I think they are missing the point. Being happy for someone else when they succeed is the very best way to assure your own success.

Most people do not share their "wins" to be jerks. They are just thrilled that something good has happened to them. As I watch those numbers climb higher and higher, I don't want to rub it in anyone's face. Here's an example of what's going through my head.

"I can pay my bills now!"

"So, THIS is what it feels like to make real money doing what you love!."

"Oh, my GOD. People are actually reading my work and "getting" me."

"This is amazing!"

"I feel like a real author now."

There are not words to express how happy I am. That is what being overjoyed feels like. Not only are my book's rankings improving, so is my author ranking. Right now I'm in the top 100 in Horror and Paranormal Romance. That is freaking amazing! As far as I know those are two of the hardest categories to break into, simply because there is so much horror and paranormal romance out there. LOL

I'm positively giddy right now. I am watching my dreams come to life one day at a time. I wish I had the words to let you know how that feels.

How to get what you want

As some of you already know from reading my blog, I fully believe in The Law of Attraction. I don't always remember to stay focused on positive things, or to be grateful, but I try. And when I keep these things in mind, good things come my way. That's all the proof I need.

The Law of Attraction is a universal law that basically says what you think about, you bring about.

Most people understand the concept of thinking positive thoughts or focusing on what they want in a positive way. Like daydreaming about a great relationship, money, success, or a perfect pet.

However, most people don't realize how powerful thinking/visualizing the achievement of those goals can be. (Always focus on the end result.) This is not only true for bringing about big changes, but for making everyday life a little easier too.

It's WAY too easy to let negative thoughts run amuck in your subconscious. The result being that your day is filled with ups and downs like crazy rather than flowing smoothly. 

Take these thoughts for example:

Oh, I hope I don't see my mother-in-law today. I hate that bitch.

Why does it have to rain every time I get a day off?

I can't stand going to the doctor, it's never anything good.

Do I really have to go to the family reunion? I'll just look fat in all the pictures.

These are only a few examples of thoughts that might make life more hectic than it needs to be. 

Whether these thoughts are caused by personal experience, or listening to others, when you subconsciously accept an idea, it becomes a real belief for you. Even if it's as simple as "always looking fat in pictures." 

People walk around thinking negative things and guess what, their days play out exactly as they expect them to, filled with unnecessary drama. As I once told a friend of mine, "If I want drama, I'll go to the f***ing theatre."

The thing to remember is that NONE of the above statements (or the ones that you constantly tell yourself) are true. Basically, your life doesn't have to suck. LOL You have the power to create your life (each day) as smoothly as you can imagine. You only have to be aware of your thoughts.

This is where visualization comes in.

Picture your day (mentally plan it out) going as smoothly as possible. See yourself getting a good report from the doctor, or having a NICE conversation with that abrasive mother-in-law, etc. 

The first step is to become aware of the negative thoughts that you have throughout the day. Most of the time, these are automatic. For example, if you hate going to a certain store because the clerk is an ass, or you are ALWAYS late for work when it rains, you need to make a note of that negative thought. You don't literally have to write it down, just become aware of always assuming the worst.

Next you need to understand that those negative thoughts are not a fact. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to play out the way you fear, even if it has before. You have the ability to change anything you want.

Last, you need to imagine what you DO want to happen and know with absolute certainty that it will happen just as you imagine it will.

Personally, I'm still working on the million dollars. LOL However, I've had lots of luck with smaller things. 

Here is a recent example. I LOVE designer purses. Unfortunately, at this stage in my career, I do not have a designer budget. YET. So, what was I really wanting? An awesome Juicy Couture purse. I decided to go on ebay and as a visualization exercise, I started shopping for purses. I wanted to see what was out there and get a better idea of what I really wanted. 

After a week of seeing great purses go for $150 and up, I was a little disappointed. My budget was only about $30 or less. And that had to include shipping. After being outbid several times I decided to start really imagining having that purse. I saw it sitting in my bedroom. I imagined coming in from the store and placing my Juicy Couture purse on the counter. As I went to sleep that last night, I even played out a conversation in my head. I was telling my best friend all about what an amazing deal I got and how the purse was EXACTLY what I wanted. But most of all, I was GRATEFUL for that purse as if it was already mine.

The very next day, I did a new search for Juicy Couture purses on ebay. A purple one showed up that was "to die for."  Have I mentioned that purple is my favorite color? Anyway, I waited until 15 minutes was left and placed my maximum bid. Within the hour I was texting my friend and having almost the exact conversation I imagined. 

Today my purse arrived in the mail. I couldn't be more thrilled. Oh, I almost forgot the best part. I got the purse for $26!! Shipping and all. 

I have seen this happen with other things in my life and i try to remember to imagine how I want things to play out, not how I fear they will.

This has made a huge difference in my life. I am so much calmer than I used to be and most days, everything goes smoothly. For example,  I'm two months ahead of schedule on my writing projects, and within 5 pounds of my ultimate weight loss goal. 

Every time I see someone who has a great body, rather than be envious, I am deeply grateful for my own beautiful body. (Just like I was with the purse.) I've been doing this for months now (long before my body resembled anything "beautiful.") and it IS working, almost effortlessly.

So, start using your imagination and the power of gratitude to bring about what you really want out of life. Not every day is perfect for me, but I sure as heck have more good days than bad and more awesome days than anything else. 

You will be amazed once you put this into practice. The more often you do it, the more often it works. Plus, the more you see The Law of Attraction at work, the more you will believe it can work.

Trust me. I didn't sleep at a Holiday Inn Express or anything, but I have seen this work in my own life. 

What I’m grateful for

With Thanksgiving nearly upon us, I thought I would take a minute and list 10 things I’m grateful for this year.

As I wrote the list just now the most amazing thing happened. I realized how truly blessed I am. Not that I had doubts. Ha. Ha. There’s something about putting your thoughts to paper (or screen) that seems to make them more real.

What are you most grateful for this year? I've listed the first 10 things that came to mind, in no particular order.

1. I’m grateful for my family. All of them, even the ones who annoy me. I could be all alone in the world.

2. I’m grateful for my friends that have stuck by me over the years. I love them dearly.

3. I’m grateful for my dogs Sam and Roscoe. They make me smile every single day. That’s always a good thing.

4. I’m thirty pounds lighter than I was at this time two years ago. I’m very grateful for that.

5. I’m grateful that both my parents are still living. I know many who are not so fortunate.

6. I’m grateful to still be with the man I chose all those years ago.

7. I’m grateful for all the books I've written, and all the new ideas that continue to come to me. I've been blessed with imagination.

8. I am grateful for the fall weather and the need to build a roaring fire once again.

9. I’m grateful that I only have to wait one more month to watch The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Yes, I actually included that on my list. I've loved these stories since I was little.

10. I’m grateful that I have so many things to be thankful for that making a list was difficult because I had to pick only a few.

Positive thinking for writers, and other random advice

Last night, I dreamed about my sister-in-law, Rita. As some of you may know, she passed away very unexpectedly in a car accident just a few months ago. If I learned anything from this (besides how much I miss her), it's that life is very short. You have to decide what you want from life and go for it. You may never get another chance.

With that in mind, here are some positive thoughts (and other random advice) for writers who are striving to reach the top. I'm not claiming to know everything. I'm sharing what has personally helped me. I'm not as successful as I will be some day. (See, positive thinking.) But I've come a long way.

I'm sure that if you've read much about positive thinking, most of you have at least heard the term Law of Attraction. First let me say, this has nothing to do with religion. I will never discuss religion on my blog. The Law of Attraction basically states that we all give off a certain vibration. This is a scientific fact, not some mumbo-jumbo. We all vibrate at a particular frequency. Whatever frequency you are sending out into the Universe, you are also attracting more of that frequency back to yourself.

Basically, if you always walk around feeling like crap and thinking about how much you feel like crap, you will attract more circumstances that cause you to feel like crap. It really is that simple. I've seen it at work too many times in my own life to think it's bull.

1. Be proud of your story. If your book has been professionally edited and has great cover art, stop worrying. Provided that you've told a good story, you have done all you can do. Worrying will not sell more copies of your book. If you start to worry about sales, stop yourself in the middle of that thought and say something like, "I am so glad that my sales are up" Or, "I'm so thankful for all the new book sales."

2. If it is your goal (or one of them) to be a highly successful writer, try this exercise. Imagine what emotions you would feel if you were already successful. What would it feel like to sell a million copies? Think about it and write it down. Refer to this list at least once a day. As often as possible, walk around feeling like a success.

3. This is probably the most important piece of advice and it's one that I have to remind myself of often. Keep a good attitude. Being a dick (yes, a dick) sends the wrong signal to the Universe.

4. It isn't possible to be aware of every single thought throughout the day. Here is an easy way to tell what signal you're sending out. How do you feel? If you feel pretty good, you are thinking good thoughts. If you feel awful, find something nice to think about.

5. Never underestimate the power of visualization. If the only spare moment you have is before you go to sleep at night, then do this as you fall asleep. Picture yourself in whatever circumstances that you consider to represent success. Maybe you're at a book signing with lots of adoring fans. Maybe you're on a yacht. Whatever works for you. Take a few minutes, picture this as clearly as you can and imagine what it would feel like to be there for real.

6. If you worry about reviews you are only hurting yourself with worry. If the thought of, "Oh, no. What if someone hates my book?" crosses your mind, stop immediately. Replace that thought with, "I am so grateful for all the good reviews."

These may sound cheesy, but I swear they work. I'm about to take some of my own advice right now and focus on success. Good luck and I hope these are helpful to you.