Positive vibrations and stuff. LOL

I realize I haven't posted anything on here in a while. I keep saying it's because I'm busy, and that IS true. What's also true is I've been bogged down in depression.

I've improved significantly since last year. I consider 2015 the worst year of my life, emotionally. And though I've improved, I've still been feeling so...BLAH. It's just not like me and I'm sick of it.

I've had bouts with depression in the past, but not often, and never anything that even came close to last year. That was ridiculous! So, I got to asking myself, "What changed?"

Here it is ... BIG REVEAL ... I stopped being grateful. 

Now, I know some of you are thinking, "What a crock of sh**." Right? Ha. Ha.

I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. I have used it to great effect in my life and I know, that I KNOW, that it works. So, why was I suddenly in such a hole emotionally?

It was a gradual decline. What you think about, you bring about. If you walk around feeling stressed out and worrying about bills, etc., you are going to bring more of that into your life. You are attracting it to you, whatever it is, good or bad.

I had more stress in my life as a result of an increase in my business (writing). And I let it get the better of me. Rather than focusing on how grateful I was to be able to do what I love (as I'd done in the past), I began to focus on, "How can I keep up this pace?" "Will I make enough to afford a new roof?" And the very worst, I began to wonder if I deserved this success. That was the most damaging of all. Yes, I do deserve to succeed at what I've worked hard for, and so do you. Never doubt that.

A few days ago I began to make a mental list of the practices I used to do, daily, that improved my life. Then, I began to implement them again. This is the third day and already I am in a completely different state of being.

What you think about is not as important as how you feel. That is a very important fact that I'd forgotten. I needed to feel good, and I needed to do it fast. One of the fastest ways for me to do that is to watch the movie, The Secret. I know a lot of people think it's bull. That's fine. You don't have to believe in order for it to work for me. LOL

This isn't anything religious. In fact, I'm not a fan of religion, on the whole. This is science. We all vibrate at a certain frequency. Different thoughts and corresponding emotions change that frequency. We attract people and circumstances into our lives that match our frequency. It's as simple as that. If you walk around angry and feeling like crap, you will attract angry, crappy people into your life.

I don't want that!

So, when a negative thought crosses my mind, I immediately replace it with a positive thought, and a sense of gratitude.

Here's an example. "I haven't been able to workout as much lately. I'm afraid I'll gain weight."

I replace that with, "I'm getting more exercise today than I was last week. I am so thankful for my beautiful, healthy body."

OR

"What if people don't like this book and I've put all this time and energy into it?"

I replace that with, "Readers have specifically asked me for a sequel, so someone DOES like this. I am so thankful to be able to do what I love for a living."

It might sound like a load of hippy crap, but it's working for me. There is always something to be grateful for. That feeling of gratitude will bring more things into your life to be thankful for. Even if you're having the worst day of your life right now, you can read this, can't you? Be grateful for your eyesight, or that you have a computer. See what I mean?

It takes effort, but eventually, it will become second nature to me again. That's what I'm working toward.

I hope this helps someone else who might have been in the same type of emotional black hole. There is a way out. You can survive.

It's amazing what offends people

It really is. In fact, I'm fairly certain that someone read that headline and was ALREADY offended. LOL

Okay, prepare yourselves, this is going to be a bit of a rant.

Since I spend at least some time on social media each day, I've noticed something strange. People don't seem to want you to be happy. I had always heard in the past that if you posted negative things constantly that people would unfriend you. I've certainly stopped following some people who never seemed to have a good day. We all go through rough times, but not every moment of every day.

Here's the weird thing I've been experiencing: Every single time I post about accomplishing something POSITIVE I get unfriended by at least one person.

I was thrilled to hit the USA Today list for the second time in my career. Of course, I didn't do it alone. Everyone who helped make it possible is awesome. My point is, I posted about it and lost 3 friends. WTF?

A few days later I posted about my workout schedule and got unfriended by a few more people.

The next day I posted about my latest karate training session and I lost MORE friends.

Now, if I clogged up my author page with nothing but personal stuff, I might could understand people no longer liking the page. I do occasionally post some fun/personal stuff, but mostly it's about writing. But on my personal page, I have a life. That is allowed, you know? LOL

I don't share anything deeply personal, but I see nothing wrong with posting about my life goals. Earning a black belt in krav maga and Shotokan are major life goals for me. It's something I should have done 10 years ago, but due to things I could not control, I've been on hold. Well, not any more. I CAN control things now and I want what is mine. 

Nothing in life has ever been handed to me, whether it was writing or karate, or anything else, I've worked for it. 

In the past few months I've even had people send me hateful messages on Facebook saying that they don't care about my workouts or things like, "I'm overweight and I don't want to hear about how much you workout." And your situation is my fault? I'm truly sorry that anyone is struggling with weight. I've been there and it sucks. But I'm not there any longer because I took charge of my body and my life. Staying put is a personal choice and NOT my fault.

Before anyone takes that the wrong way, I'm not making fun of anyone. I wouldn't do that. It's cruel and horrible, and not at all who I am. I'm just saying that we create our own reality to a large extent. And if someone is sitting around pointing fingers and being offended because you are meeting your goals, they have too much time on their hands.

This past year depression really knocked me on my ass. There is no nice way to say that. I was down and I went down HARD. But you know what got me up again? ME! I did it! I pulled myself up off the ground and I came up swinging. And I don't intend to stop any time soon. I have goals to meet! You know who will meet those goals? ME! Not anyone else. If you want something, you have to take it. Get up off your ass, stop judging everyone else and TAKE what you want from life. Work for it. Kick its ass. Get it done.

Okay. End of rant.