Pros and Cons of reading reviews

First, let me say that this is written tongue-in-cheek, and not to be taken seriously. This is just for laughs and perhaps a bit of therapy for myself and my fellow writers. While some of this CAN be taken seriously, most clearly cannot. LOL

TO READ                                                           NOT TO READ                                        

-I would know what people think
  about my books.                                               - Knowing changes nothing.

- I would know if someone insulted me.             - You cannot change what people say
                                                                           and defending yourself is NOT allowed.
                                                                           Neither is an anal assault with a pickaxe.
      
- What if someone called me names?                   - If someone directly insulted you,
                                                                             THEY look  like the asshole. Just
                                                                             kill them off in your next book.            
               
-What if it's really nasty?                                     - You don't have anywhere to hide
                                                                             the body.


-What if they REALLY don't like
  what I've written?                                             - SCREW THEM. You aren't going to
                                                                            change it. They can suck a fat one.
                                                                            If you're lucky, they might choke on it.      
        
-What if they are saying cruel shit?                      - It doesn't matter what they say,
                                                                            as long as people are still enjoying
                                                                            your books. Seriously, this one is for real.
 
       
-What if they don't like what some
  of the characters do?                                        - SCREW THEM. They didn't write
                                                                            the book.

- What if they say my characters
    are immoral?                                                  - That just makes them look like a prude.
                                                                            You  cannot track them down and
                                                                            smack them with a dildo.
 
- What if they are offended by
   something a character says?                            - In the words of Yoda, "Offended you
                                                                            are? A f**k I don't give." Seriously,
                                                                            you wrote each character with their
                                                                            own personality. Don't censor that
                                                                            based on what people MIGHT
                                                                            think.
         
- What if they complain about
   similarities between characters?                      - SCREW THEM. Many people have
                                                                            things in common. That does not
                                                                            mean they are not original.
         

- What if they insult me PERSONALLY?               - Let's be real here, you don't know where
                                                                             they live, so put down the baseball bat.

- Remarks I've read in the past
   really hurt my feelings.                                     - People are assholes. You can't change that.
                                                                               And you can't kill them.

- This character shared my personal
  opinion and they insulted her/him.                  - You have been insulted before, mostly by
                                                                            jealous twats. It will happen again.

- What if I am on the best seller list,
   and I don't know it because I can't
   look at the book's page?                                  - Knowing wouldn't change anything.
                                                                             And  you might accidentally see
                                                                             another display of stupidity.
                                                                             Have a hot cocoa and relax.
                                                                                             


- What if my books are getting bashed
    and I don't know?                                            - Then you won't be forced to hire
                                                                              a hacker to track them down
                                                                              so that you can stomp the jelly
                                                                              out of their skulls. After all,
                                                                              it would ruin your new shoes.
                                                                                               
In all seriousness, if the people who like your books outnumber the people who hate your books, you are doing just fine. Are you getting positive letters from readers? Great! Focus on that. THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE WRITING FOR.

Like I said, this is meant to be humorous and sarcastic. I am not actually contemplating tracking someone down and stomping the jelly out of their skull. LOL

Most of all remember, reviews are for READERS not WRITERS. I realize that many will disagree with this. But, if you work with an editor, you are already getting feedback from a professional. Your books overall ranking on Amazon (or any other site) tells you everything you need to know about everyone else's opinion all wrapped up into a number. Unless, of course, you only have one review and it's someone being a total jerk. Don't take that to heart. Wait until you have SEVERAL reviews to form an overall/more balanced perspective.

I speak from experience. Words hurt and people (on the whole) don't care whose direction they sling them in.

So, protect your sanity. Stop reading reviews and get back to work on your next book.

Food for thought

Writing is a lonely job. When you finish a book, it represents far more than whatever the story is about. It's hours of lost sleep. It's time away from your family and friends. It's a piece of who you are and what you are all about. Likely the only one who will ever fully understand that is YOU.

I'm not saying people won't enjoy your work, or that they won't understand it. I'm saying that everyone reads things from a different perspective. They have their own ideas and prejudices from the beginning, just like you do when you write.

Knowing that you are the only one who will ever really know what that book was about, that is pretty lonely.

If you try to explain that to someone, you will likely be asked, "Why did you decide to become a writer then?"

You don't exactly "decide" to become a writer. You either are one, or you are not. I am, and I've always been, a writer.

I am truly and deeply grateful that after six years of hard work, my books are finally taking off. That's great and I am thrilled. However, this means that I am exposed to more and more people, which means more and more assholes will attack me simply because I'm right in front of them.

When I go out I have a 50/50 chance of being recognized either because someone read my book/books and loved it or because they hate my guts and think they could do better. I simply do not understand all the hatred. It is never okay to behave that way.

If you don't like what I write, then don't read it. Move on to something that is more to your liking and don't be a dick to me for writing what I enjoy.

If you think you can do better then by all means, do it. I sincerely wish you luck. If you want to write, then write. Go for it. Don't sit around hating other people because they have accomplished their goals. I'm sure they worked their asses off to be where they are.

While I am beyond excited to see my books climbing the charts, I am also heartbroken because I can no longer watch that climb. Why? Well, because I am sick of my books getting trolled. If I look at that shit I'll never be able to write another word. Reading hurtful reviews (or even good ones sometimes) can cripple a writer. You won't be able to put anything on the page for fear that people won't understand it, or they will attack you for it. I can't do that. This is what pays my bills and I have to keep writing. Therefore, I can no longer look at my rankings because it is impossible to see that without seeing reviews.

Do me a favor everyone? Before you reply in an email to someone or write a review, or communicate with anyone in any way ... think about it. Realize that there is an actual person with thoughts and feelings on the receiving end of your words. If they haven't done anything personally to you, then don't attack them on a personal level. What if you were on the receiving end of your letter or review? Would it upset you, or hurt your feelings? If so, then don't send it.

Just some food for thought.