Getting back on track

I haven't been blogging as much lately. As some of you know (because you have kids too), it's summer break right now. That means I've been spending some much needed (and enjoyed) time playing video games with my son.

Though I've tried very hard to hide it, I've been under a lot of stress. Long story short, it finally caught up with me. These past few weeks have been a sort of emotional crash for me. I do my best to maintain a positive attitude, because I truly believe that is the key to living a happy life.

No one can MAKE you feel anything. You decide if you will be happy or not. Having said that, there were many days lately when I didn't have the strength for positive thinking.

Why am I stressed? Let me give a brief rundown. I had about 11 books under contract with a publisher. For many reasons, I made the decision to cancel those contracts as they expired, rather than have them roll over. As those contracts expire and the rights of the books revert fully to me, I am re-releasing those titles. That means I am having them edited again. Often times I also put in additional content to these stories. And since I am an artist too, I have been designing my own cover art for these re-releases. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every moment of the process, but that is a LOT of work.

I have been published for almost 6 years. (August 11, 2013 is my 6 year publishing anniversary.) The sooner I get these books back out, the sooner I can increase my income. This is what I do for a living, so that is very important. Every time a book's rights revert to me, that is one source of income that is lost until I can get that book back out for readers to purchase.

Needless to say, I feel tremendous pressure to get these books back out as soon as possible. However, I have to make sure they are ready first. Why? Because my reputation depends on it.

As I work on this massive project, all of my new works have been on hold. That is an incredibly frustrating feeling. I can't create anything new until the old work is back out there. It's like catching up on 5 years of work in about 1 year.

If I'm not creating new works, I feel useless. My income has dropped and I wonder if I will ever truly be a success. And that is only what is stressing me about my career.

In the meantime, I stopped working out for 3 weeks. I was training so hard that it was throwing off my normal bodily processes. I had to let my system relax. So, I did. Turns out, working out was keeping me sane.

The next thing I knew, my son crashed his truck. (He is fine.) It was all downhill from there. I've spent the past 3 weeks feeling like gradually worse shit. But, I've continued to work.

I have managed to complete ONE new book. It is currently in the capable hands of my editing/writing partner. I hope to have it out by October, if not sooner. I'm back on a workout schedule, and by December, all my books will once again belong to me. At least, all that were with the publisher I mentioned. I have other books with Ellora's Cave, and I intend to keep them there.

I've taken a lot of crap for venturing into self-publishing. God forbid I want to earn enough money to pay my bills.

My point is, I am finally starting to feel like I've got my shit together again. I'm working on another re-release, getting a new book ready for publication, and I'm 10 pounds from my weight loss goal.

I've never found it difficult to find joy in small things. I keep reminding myself that as far as this goes, nothing has changed. I am not where I want to be yet. But if I keep working, I will get there. I have to believe that. Otherwise, why am I even trying?

I let myself get overwhelmed. That's something I think a lot of people can relate to.

What exactly do I write?

Answering this question might be harder than you think. Sure, I know my genre and categories in bookstores. However, there are still lots of people who have never heard of Erotic Paranormal Romance. Not to mention they are thrown for a loop by the word "erotic."

So many people hear "erotic" and think "porn" or "filth." While that is certainly out there, I don't write straight up filth. When asked in person about the content of my books, I'll tell people something along the lines of, "They have graphic violence, language, and sexual content." No one bats an eye at the graphic violence or language, but nearly everyone says something like, "So, it's just a dirty book?"

I cannot express enough how much I would like to slap these people. Scratch that. I'd like to Superman punch them in the face. Ha. Ha. I would also like to add at this time, that the people I encounter online are so much more accepting and intelligent than those I generally run into in person. I only have these bizarre confrontations in my small, Southern hometown and the surrounding area. 

Now, there are plenty of people online who think "erotic" means "porn." But mostly if they are talking to me, they've figured out the difference. 

I've even tried explaining to folks, "It's like watching anything on HBO. My books have the same type of content. There is violence, graphic language, sex, and A PLOT. The story doesn't take a back seat to any of the other elements. I couldn't possibly write about nothing but sex. There has to be a reason for it, for everything." 

Still, I get those blank looks. Or I get questions like, "Why include it at all?"

"Because in real life, there is violence. People speak (especially in private) however they wish to speak. Oh, and REAL PEOPLE DO HAVE SEX. Just because my stories have fantastical elements, doesn't mean I don't strive to give them a touch of reality."

That's normally the point in the conversation where someone says if there are vampires, wizards, or werewolves, the story can't be realistic. Honestly? Did they miss Harry Potter?

Anyway, this has obviously turned into a rant. LOL

What exactly do I write? One of my readers summed it up best. She said, "If Quentin Tarantino did romance, this is what it would look like."

That's probably one of the most awesome things anyone has ever said about my books. Not all of them are violent enough to qualify, but that's still a great explanation. 

How about some drinks recommended by Dracula?

That's right, you heard me. I've got a brand new release, but this post isn't all about promo. Plus, it's Memorial Day Weekend. So, I thought I would share a few recipes to help you party harder.

Before I get to the drinks, I'd like to thank all my dedicate fans who have been waiting for this book. This is book four in the Lilith Mercury Werewolf Hunter series. I am grateful for every single email or Facebook post that asked when the next book was coming out. I am thrilled to know you wanted to read it that much. :) So, without further ado, here are the details on Original Sin.

Peter was Lilith's first love--and the first person to call her a monster. Despite their past, Lilith would save him if she could, but when Peter is infected with lycanthropy and becomes determined to challenge Marco for the position of lupinus regalis, wolf king, she faces a hard choice. 

Warning: This book contains graphic sex, graphic violence, and graphic language. No werewolves were harmed in the making of this book.

Purchase your copy here.

I'm also very proud of the way the cover turned out for this one. I smile every time I look at it. In my mind (as I worked on the cover) this image represents the first time Lilith mentions Marco in Book One of the series (Red), when she saw him standing outside in the rain. Very symbolic and drool-worthy. Ha. Ha.

Now, why drink recipes and why Dracula? Well, because Dracula is also a character in the Lilith Mercury series. In this installment, he opens a club called Original Sin. When I first wrote Original Sin, I also wrote a complete menu for the club. I even wrote all the Laws of Vampiric Tolerance  They aren't things that are just referenced in the series. I actually wrote them out so I would know what I was talking about later.

So, in the name of fun and a good celebration this Memorial Day Weekend, I thought I would share some of the drinks that are mentioned in Original Sin. All ingredients should be mixed to taste. Have fun!

Kat drinks this one - 

Busted Cherry: Blackberry Infused Vodka, Godiva Liqueur & Cherry Juice

Elijah drinks this one - 

Tryst: Everclear, Jolt cola

Bade drinks this one - 

Tie Me To The Bedpost: Coconut Rum, Midori, Citrus Vodka & Lime Juice

Bade and Lilith drink this together. That's right, Bade and Lilith are drinking together.

Rough Trade: Vodka, Strawberry liqueur, Orange juice

And of course, the clubs signature drink.

Original Sin: White rum, Apricot brandy, Lemon juice, Superfine sugar, Grenadine

Be careful what company you keep

Today marks my 500th blog post. (Yay!) In honor of that accomplishment, I wanted to offer what I felt like was good (and easy to follow) advice.

I just read a friend's post on Facebook about meeting with their author group. They said how this was a great thing for them and I was a bit envious. Ha. Ha. There are literally NO writer/author groups in my area (to my knowledge) that are worth a crap. I know of two and I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.

In the beginning when you first get published, it's tempting to run out and join a writing group. I think everyone wants to find people who will support and encourage them. My advice? Don't do that.

I'm not saying there aren't good groups out there. Sure there are. They just aren't around me. We can only judge by our own experience and here is what I found in the two writer's groups I attempted to be a part of.

The first was at one of the Universities where I used to work. I joined this group because I had always had an interest in writing and knew that I would someday pursue writing as a career. I thought I could learn something.

In this group everyone would sit around and read their latest poetry or short story and then ask for feedback from the group. That was how it was supposed to go. What really happened? The leader of the group was full of himself and barely gave anyone else a chance to speak. He was rude and criticized everyone else's work when his own wasn't up to par. This was basically a chance to sit around and bitch and read emo poetry. It was a complete waste of time, but I kept up my membership for a little while. As soon as I became published, they disowned me. Everyone was jealous that I succeeded and reached the first of my career goals. They acted as if I and my accomplishment didn't exist. In the last publication they put out (at the University) they didn't even list me as a member. You would think they'd be proud of me, right? I never went back.

My second experience with a writer's group was in my hometown. I got a nice invitation in the mail asking me to attend their next meeting. I've known the librarian in town (where the meeting was held) since I was a kid. She is a sweet lady and was probably responsible for my invite.

What happened there? Another published author was in attendance and I accidentally stole her show. She was also from the same town, but had long since moved away. She writes more traditional romance. After the main part of her speech was over people started to ask questions. Since I had been introduced, a few of these questions were directed at me instead of her. Some of the others in the group seemed fascinated to find that not only did I not use an agent, but I had published more books in 3 years than this other author had in 10 years.

That was not my fault. I didn't ramble on. I politely answered and tried to turn things back over to her. Still, I was snubbed when I attempted to speak to her afterward. Bitch. She acted like she was above speaking to anyone except the lady who had invited her.

Afterward, I went to dinner with the group while she disappeared. She was also "too good" to eat with us. I thought things went well as everyone seemed to enjoy asking me questions. But guess what? I was never invited back. Despite the fact that I have published even more novels now and gotten a few awards.

I suppose my point is, you don't have to belong to a group if you don't want to. Don't let yourself feel pressured. You've got enough to do without worrying about going to meetings, right? If being a part of a group feels right and is helpful to you, then go for it. But if it isn't, don't stress over it. Also, just because a group of people claim to be a writer's group, doesn't mean they give a damn about you and your writing.

So, what do I do for support? I have a few friends who are writers. I talk to and confide in them. I trust their opinions. I have an editor and writing partner who works with me on all my books, especially my indie titles. She is a great person and a close friend. She can look me right in the face and tell me something sounds stupid without hurting my feelings. Why? Because she isn't a bitch and I know she has my best interest at heart. It also helps that she doesn't try to read me any emo poetry.

Amazon, stress, and low sales

Many of you may have heard of Amazon blocking erotica (and erotic romance) from it's "All Category Search." After learning of this, I changed the categories on almost all of my books. The result? I've experienced an extreme drop in sales!

So, I went back today and changed them all to their original categories. If Amazon chooses to label these books as "adult" and exclude them from general searches, so be it. I was reaching more of my intended audience when the books were in the proper category. Even though my stories are "romance," putting them in that category (that is overcrowded already) made them disappear. 

Hopefully, sales will improve after these changes go into effect. 

I've also been stressing (and trying desperately not to) about the fact that I no longer have any sales to speak of on any other sites. Amazon has become the ONLY place that I make any money. Has anyone else experienced this? I make a little bit on Barnes & Noble, but my sales have never been high there. I make almost nothing on Smashwords; that hasn't changed. And most months I make nothing at all on All Romance Ebooks. I used to earn nearly as much there each month as I did on Amazon. That really bothers me, because I don't understand the change. I have no way of finding any data to know why this drastic change happened. Is no one shopping there? Are all authors noticing a decline in sales? Or do I just suck?

All I know to do is move forward. I've even considered pulling my books from other sites to enroll them in the Kindle Select Program once more. However, KDP had no real benefit that I found, other than being able to run specials on your books, like giving them away for free. I never noticed that this increased sales in the slightest. So, that idea may be worthless. Plus, I'd have to go to the trouble of pulling my books from other sites. Bleh. I don't know what to do.

I fully believe in the Law of Attraction. I believe that you get what you expect to get. I also believe that if you focus on negative things, you will attract more negative things into your life. Therefore, I'm going to post this blog and focus on something that makes me feel great, like my next book. 

I'm going to do something that makes me smile, focus on that, and try not to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills. 

Amazon may consider your books porn

It seems there is always something or someone trying to persecute those who write or enjoy reading (or both) erotic romance.

Lately, all the buzz is about Amazon and their new search "feature." Apparently, when you do an "All Department Search" erotica is being filtered out.

Right off the bat I can tell you that is a terrifying prospect to me. It's also offensive to be thrown into the category of porn. My books have sexual content. So do a lot of movies, games, and TV shows. They aren't considered porn, and my books shouldn't be either. I've read several horror writers who include sex in their books. They aren't being excluded from searches. Why? Maybe it has something to do with the category of erotica?

Now I mentioned this was terrifying to me. That's because I do this for a living. I have no other job. I write. I use my income from royalties to pay my bills. I also earn the majority of my income from Amazon sales. You see where I'm going with this? It's scary.

I wonder if this will blow over. Will writers like myself continue to be able to make a living? I sure as hell hope so. It's pretty well known that erotica was a driving force for Kindle sales. At long last, people could read romance novels without anyone seeing the cover and judging them for it. Surely, Amazon realizes this?

I know several people, men and women, who were thrilled to be able to read a BDSM novel without anyone knowing. One of my friends sat at the dentist office reading as he called it, "straight-up kink" and no one knew. THIS is what sold the kindle. Sexual content. Period.

And now, after all that, WE are getting filtered? My books are not porn! There are many novels in other genres who have just as much sex in them as my books do. Is it because my stories have a happy ending that I'm getting the shaft? (Yes, the pun is totally intended.)

Besides being scary, treating erotica writers this way is just plain bad business. We make Amazon a lot of money.

Back in the day, books used to only be filtered (or excluded from searches) if there was nudity on the cover. For that reason, none of my covers have naked people. I thought I had this Amazon thing figured out.

As I was composing this blog post, I read another post that answered a question I really wanted to know. You can no longer put your book in both "Erotica" and "Romance" categories. Additionally, the category "Erotic Romance" puts your book in erotica.

Seriously? I'm going to Amazon right now to change my categories. I don't think that's an option if your books are already considered "ADULT". Once a work is considered "erotic," it stays that way. Naturally, huge traditionally published books like 50 Shades get the option to change their category. But not the little guys.

I searched for my books on Amazon in the "All Department Search" and only one was excluded, Diary of an Incubus. Yes, it has been slapped with the ugly ADULT label.

While I figure out what to do about that, I'm going to pause blogging and go change the categories of my other books. Hey, Amazon didn't bother to tell us they were doing this filter crap. Why should I play nice? I need to make a living here.

*after changing categories*

Okay, now ALL my books are in different categories besides Erotica. Here's what I did with mine.

Necromancer - Horror, Romance Paranormal

Wicked City - Romance, Fantasy

Eden - Paranormal, Fantasy

Bitten - Romance paranormal, horror

The Eternal Kiss - Paranormal, short stories

The Dread Moon - Paranormal, Horror

Object of My Affection - Paranormal, Horror

Red - Paranormal, horror

Frank and The Werewolf Tamer - Fantasy, Romance paranormal

I hope this works. My fear is that changing the categories will actually make my books harder to find. But if the filer might have been preventing them being found ... hell, I don't know.

I changed the category of Diary of an Incubus to Romance, Paranormal. If it's being filtered for the cover, then screw Amazon. I've seen a lot worse.

I would like to say that this will blow over and everything will be okay. But the truth is I don't know what will happen. I'm trying to stay positive. Maybe changing these categories will help MORE readers find me.

Whatever happens, I will survive, and so will you.

Yes, there can be meaning in a vampire menage novel

A few days ago I re-released Necromancer. This story was originally published in 2008. Since then, I've added over 8,000 words of new content as well as a revised ending.

I know a lot of people will read the title of this post and think, "Yeah, right." It's sad how many folks are too narrow minded to realize that just because a story has erotic content doesn't mean that it lacks meaning or a real story. I doubt anyone would say that Game of Thrones lacks a plot. I also doubt anyone would say it doesn't have a lot of sexual content. Now, plot-wise, my stories are nothing like Game of Thrones. However, on the surface they are very much alike. They both have a great story mixed with graphic violence and sexual content.

No matter how many times I explain this, there will be some jerk out there who calls my work "smut" or "porn." Worse yet, "mommy porn." I can think of few descriptions I find more offensive than "mommy porn." It sounds like something a child molester would watch or read. Ugh! Are people simply frightened of the word erotic? It sounds so much better. I also want to slap people who say I write smut. Smut is the crap they print in raunchy magazines. Smut has no plot, no emotion, just hardcore sex. I DO NOT write smut. Okay, I'm getting off topic a bit. Ha. Ha.

To me, anyone who uses one of the above mentioned terms to describe erotic romance is displaying their ignorance.

Necromancer in particular has a lot of "me" in the book. So, I'm sure you can imagine that I find the book very meaningful. I'm going to share some details here that when I first published this book I kept to myself. LOL

Real life can inspire all sorts of things in books. Just because this story is full of supernatural stuff doesn't mean there is no "real life" in it.

Okay, now for the details.

1. Jane Masters has the job from Hell that I endured for nearly 4 years.

2. Every single character mentioned at the university where she works is REAL. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

3. The horrible boss at the beginning of the story was MY horrible boss. The letters he writes to Jane were directly copied from the notes he left on my desk. I REALLY endured this asshole. I'm so proud of myself for telling him to shove it up his ass rather than brutally murdering him.

4. The security guard Jane is involved with was a friend of mine. I wasn't involved with him the way Jane is, but I saw who he really was. It wasn't pretty.

5. Michael Jameson is based on one of my best friends, Stacey.

6. Lastly, and the most meaningful of all to me, her dog Sam is based on my dog Sam. When I wrote this story Sam had just become a part of our lives. As I re-release it now, he passed away 2 months ago. Some days I can think of him and smile. Other days, I still feel devastated. Necromancer is dedicated to Sam.

Trust me when I say that writing this book was therapy. And surprisingly, so was reading and editing it again.

Hopefully, you are now intrigued to know that all the drama is real and figure out how the vampires play into it all. LOL

Here are the details on Necromancer.

Jane Masters has no idea she's a necromancer. Luis and Henri are the vampires responsible for the power mingled in her blood. Though her love life improves dramatically after meeting them, Jane faces a more urgent situation than dating a vampire or two. As Luis and Henri reveal the details of her past life and the source of her power, they learn there's a killer on the loose and Jane is next on the list. As for her newly discovered past with the vampires, her heart remembers them. But will she survive to love them this time?

Warning: This book contains graphic violence, graphic language, and graphic sex, as well as two smoking hot vampires.

Purchase your copy here