Is it okay to get personal?

Obviously, it's never a good idea to give your life's history on social media. But how personal is it all right to get? Hmmm. That sentence sounded better in my head.

If I didn't need social media to be in contact with readers and network with fellow authors, I can tell you right now, I wouldn't be on there. And not just Facebook. I wouldn't be ANYWHERE. It's not that I don't enjoy a good game of Candy Crush now and then, being on social media is very time consuming. That's time that I could be writing my next book. 

That being said, if you're on places like Facebook often, you tend to get comfortable with people that you regularly interact with. I've seen some pretty gasp worthy overshares in my time. (Posted publicly) LOL I don't mean people you get to know on a personal basis and send private messages to. (Although you have to be careful who you trust with that as well.) I mean people you are casually in touch with.

In my case, I want to be myself. But, that should probably never happen in public. Ha. Ha. Ha. No, really. 

The main group of people that I interact with is my readers. I want them to know me, actually know me. I don't want to be fake or lie about myself in any way. I also don't want to accidentally divulge too much.

Some people might not realize how hard it is to walk that line. Can you imagine never being able to express an opinion? You can NEVER talk about politics and religion, for example. Not that I would. You can never post a controversial news headline. Oh, and never ever talk about reviews. You will be crucified. You are not allowed to have an opinion about what someone said about your life's work, so don't even go there.

All right, you can, but you will always offend someone. When you have any small bit of a public persona, that is never a good thing.

Most readers are amazing, cool people. But then there's the flip side. There are nutters out there. Oh yes, there are nutters. I've come in contact with more than my share. Therefore, even on my personal page, I am censored. I don't share where I live, where I went to school. I don't post pictures of my family. As far as most people know it's just me and my dogs. You can never be too safe. And you can never, ever let your guard down and just be you.

I suppose this rambling post is just to say the struggle is real. I want to know my readers and I want them to know me. But I find that I end up censoring myself so much.

I express my true self in my books through a variety of different characters. I know some people assume that I'm the heroine, but that is rarely ever true. I've even had characters that were writers before. Naturally, that sparked some nasty comments of me writing about myself. Um, no. They are nothing like me. Usually, I'm the villain, or the sarcastic secondary character, or even the hero. 

People who read my books and really enjoy them, they are the ones who actually know me.

I've heard writers say, "Just because you read my books doesn't mean you know me." While that may be true for some, it isn't for me. If you really pay attention to my books, you know me.

It's amazing what offends people

It really is. In fact, I'm fairly certain that someone read that headline and was ALREADY offended. LOL

Okay, prepare yourselves, this is going to be a bit of a rant.

Since I spend at least some time on social media each day, I've noticed something strange. People don't seem to want you to be happy. I had always heard in the past that if you posted negative things constantly that people would unfriend you. I've certainly stopped following some people who never seemed to have a good day. We all go through rough times, but not every moment of every day.

Here's the weird thing I've been experiencing: Every single time I post about accomplishing something POSITIVE I get unfriended by at least one person.

I was thrilled to hit the USA Today list for the second time in my career. Of course, I didn't do it alone. Everyone who helped make it possible is awesome. My point is, I posted about it and lost 3 friends. WTF?

A few days later I posted about my workout schedule and got unfriended by a few more people.

The next day I posted about my latest karate training session and I lost MORE friends.

Now, if I clogged up my author page with nothing but personal stuff, I might could understand people no longer liking the page. I do occasionally post some fun/personal stuff, but mostly it's about writing. But on my personal page, I have a life. That is allowed, you know? LOL

I don't share anything deeply personal, but I see nothing wrong with posting about my life goals. Earning a black belt in krav maga and Shotokan are major life goals for me. It's something I should have done 10 years ago, but due to things I could not control, I've been on hold. Well, not any more. I CAN control things now and I want what is mine. 

Nothing in life has ever been handed to me, whether it was writing or karate, or anything else, I've worked for it. 

In the past few months I've even had people send me hateful messages on Facebook saying that they don't care about my workouts or things like, "I'm overweight and I don't want to hear about how much you workout." And your situation is my fault? I'm truly sorry that anyone is struggling with weight. I've been there and it sucks. But I'm not there any longer because I took charge of my body and my life. Staying put is a personal choice and NOT my fault.

Before anyone takes that the wrong way, I'm not making fun of anyone. I wouldn't do that. It's cruel and horrible, and not at all who I am. I'm just saying that we create our own reality to a large extent. And if someone is sitting around pointing fingers and being offended because you are meeting your goals, they have too much time on their hands.

This past year depression really knocked me on my ass. There is no nice way to say that. I was down and I went down HARD. But you know what got me up again? ME! I did it! I pulled myself up off the ground and I came up swinging. And I don't intend to stop any time soon. I have goals to meet! You know who will meet those goals? ME! Not anyone else. If you want something, you have to take it. Get up off your ass, stop judging everyone else and TAKE what you want from life. Work for it. Kick its ass. Get it done.

Okay. End of rant.

The unfortunate trend of snark

First, I am not a fan of snark. (If you couldn't tell that from the title. LOL) I do not think it is clever, or funny, or cute. I think it is rude, often bitchy, and downright hateful. Unfortunately, it also seems to get worse this time of year.

Why am I blogging about this exactly? Because it bothers me. I do not understand the need to be harsh to a complete stranger unless they did something to me personally. Or attacked someone I care about for no reason.

Here is an example. 

I saw a woman walking down the sidewalk at a mall. She was wearing an outfit that I thought looked good, and she probably did too. Some snooty woman walked past her and said something to the effect of her outfit being a disgrace and she "shouldn't be allowed out in public."

I was stunned. I just stood there for a moment and starred. Then the woman on the receiving end of this started to cry. It broke my heart. Since I was right behind her on my way to the door anyway, I couldn't let it go. I told the snooty woman, "Why don't you do us all a favor, take your opinions, write them all down, and shove them up your ass. No one asked what you think!"

She looked pissed, but she left. The other woman thanked me and continued to cry. I asked, "Do you know her?"

She shook her head and said, "I've never seen her before in my life. Who does something like that?"

That is a very good question. Who does something like that to someone they don't even know? Not that knowing them would make it any better, but not knowing them sure does make it stranger.

Of course, this type of behavior is much more prevalent online. Most people who dish out what I call "Drive-by snark" or "Drive-by trolling" would never have the nerve to do this to someone in public. The internet gives anonymity to people who do this sort of thing for fun.

Being a public figure of any kind makes you more likely to have to deal with it too. I know authors who receive death threats in email because they didn't write a certain story the way someone thought it should go! (No, it wasn't me.) How insane is that?

I and many other authors have been the victim of overly personal and hateful reviews as well. Not liking something is one thing. Insulting the author or writing a deliberately ridiculous (for whatever reason) review is another.

It's difficult to imagine someone actually doing this sort of thing, but you'll find them everywhere. Regardless of topic, they are on many forums, all over Facebook, and of course, Goodreads.

People put this stuff out there on purpose, just to be hurtful. Just because they can.

Unfortunately, this is not real life. Well, it is, but not face to face, like the rude woman at the mall. If you voice an opinion here, you are "behaving badly." People form internet groups to organize attacks like this. Sounds unreal, doesn't it? It's true.

I'm getting sidetracked though. My point isn't to bitch about reviews. I wonder WHY people do this to each other. The example of reviews simply comes easily to me. By the way, I've had to stop reading reviews. I want to continue writing and that's what it takes for me. I had to shut that out of my life.

My point was, why do people treat each other so harshly over nothing at all. What purpose does that serve? It isn't funny. A human being with actual feelings is on the receiving end of that insult.

We've all been alive long enough to know that the world isn't full of sunshine and rainbows. No one expects that. However, there is a difference in giving an honest opinion and being an asshole. 

Am I perfect? Certainly not. If someone pisses me off, they generally know about it. However, standing up for yourself isn't the same as lashing out for no reason. I do my best to treat other people as I would like to be treated. It may sound cheesy or cliche, but it's true. It is also a valuable lesson that many people seem to have never learned.

Here's one more thing to think about. Everyone you meet is struggling with something. It might be their job, or finances, or a kid on drugs, or a crazy ex, or their physical health. Whatever it is, we all have battles that we fight. Just because you see someone with a smile on their face doesn't mean that smile came easily. Many such expressions (when they are genuine) are hard won. Who are you to take away their bit of hard-earned happiness? And why would you do it? Simply because you can? If so, you are a miserable person.

For all we know, they might be contemplating suicide. Maybe that hateful comment was the last straw for them? If you think that example is too extreme, think of Robin Williams. He always put his best face forward and look at what he was clearly struggling with.

No matter what face they present to the world, everyone is struggling with something. I would hate to know that I spent my time tearing another person down when I could just as easily lift them up.

What is a romance novel?

Ever since I first got published, I keep hitting this brick wall. What wall is that? The wall people throw up when they hear that I write romance. This coming Monday, August 11th, is my publishing anniversary. It has been 7 years since my first book came out. :) While that's awesome, I can't believe I'm still talking about the same misconceptions.

Here's the thing, "romance" does not mean fluff and sex. That is what almost everyone assumes when they hear the word. So, let me break it down for those who are confused about the subject. Romance, just like any other genre, can be nothing but crap. That isn't an isolated type of thing. There are bad books everywhere, regardless of the subject matter.

Romance is also not an all encompassing category like it used to be. It doesn't necessarily mean women with their bodices torn open, wearing ridiculous dresses while being man-handled by pirates. (Although, it could.)

Most romance novels are NOT all about the sex. Books that revolve around sex are called erotica NOT romance. And no, that is not the same thing as porn. If someone is going to judge a genre, they should at least get their categories and terminology straight. Oh, and while we're on the subject, I am very offended when my work is called smut. Smut is like a filthy magazine full of nothing but pornographic images with no story ... maybe not any words at all. I do NOT write smut.

There are many sub-genres within romance. Here are just a few that are on Amazon.

Paranormal
Vampires
Werewolves & Shifters
Demons & Devils
Witches & Wizards
Contemporary
Science Fiction

You get the point, the list goes on. What does this mean? It means that these are all stories that just happen to also contain a romance within the plot. If John Conner's father had lived, Terminator could have technically been sold as a Science Fiction Romance novel. See what I mean?

I don't think that people who turn up their noses at romance really understand what is out there. Don't judge the whole genre by one or two books that made headlines. That's as ignorant as judging an entire race of people by one stupid person. LOL

Most of what is out there is well-written, and researched material. We're talking good, solid writing, not just a bunch of fluff. Romance novels have something that other genres often lack, genuine emotion. I love horror, but I've read horror novels before and not given a damn when main characters died. Why? Because they were not portrayed with any emotion. I didn't know anything about him/her. All I had was a handful of facts. Facts are cold and hard. They do not "tell" you who the person is. Their actions and reactions paint that picture, and that is what most romance novels provide.

So, what is a romance novel? It is an adventure in any established genre where a romantic relationship between at least two of the characters is involved in the plot or subplot.

While I'm on my soapbox, one more thing: I write about vampires and werewolves because I LIKE IT. I have never written about the paranormal because it is popular. Anyone who actually knows me understands what I'm talking about. I've always been into anything macabre, mythology, horror movies, you name it. That's my thing, and that is why I write about it. I am sick of people insulting me because I write about vampires. I'm tired of comments like, "Oh, how original." Really? How was that called for?

It all comes down to this, I'm doing what I love, and making a living at it. If you don't like that, please feel free to keep your snark to yourself.

I have reached my limit

That's right. I've reached my limit on crazy, self-righteous lunatics and their rude comments to me personally and about my books.

Why would they ever think it is appropriate to insult me on a personal level? If you don't like the book FINE. The book is a product. I am the creator of the product. Insult the book if you must, but leave me out of it.

What provoked this rant? I just had some idiot complaining about my menage collection AGAIN. This is someone else who is offended by the leading lady having multiple lovers. Are you freaking kidding me?! The book has MENAGE in the title. There is a warning label that says MENAGE. There is also a woman with TWO MEN featured on the cover. This collection is clearly marketed for what it is. I didn't lie about anything, nor did I try to hide what the content truly is. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY MULTIPLE PARTNERS DO NOT READ A MENAGE NOVEL.

People know from the beginning what content they find offensive. If they buy a book anyway, KNOWING that it contains offensive-to-them content, they have no right to complain. They are the ones who chose to go there. It's not like I tracked them down and shoved it in their face. But what do they do if they don't like it? Oh, they track ME down and shove it in MY face!

I just had someone say that I needed to team up with someone who has a moral compass. Oh, and they spelled moral wrong. Seriously? You do realize that these stories are FICTION, right? I'm not writing about myself!

I GET SO PISSED OFF WHEN PEOPLE ASSUME I AM WRITING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS. Do they make the same assumption when someone writes about an axe murderer?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a threeway with Dracula and two werewolves scheduled at lunch today.

Sex is not evil

I am continuously amazed by how many people are offended by sex. It's been around as long as we have. Ever since people first arrived on the scene, they've been doing it. So, why after all this time are people still offended by sex? Your guess is as good as mine.

Here's the thing that gets to me. The violence in my books is much more graphic in many cases than the sex. Yet in 6 1/2 years of being published, only ONE person has ever mentioned the violence. Still, that wasn't really a complaint. She simply mentioned that it might offended more sensitive readers. No one minds that heads are ripped off, hearts torn out, people are shot, dismembered, you name it. No one cares about any of that, just whatever you do DON'T HAVE SEX. That is crossing the line. Ha. Ha. Ha.

You've got to be kidding me!

But, this isn't just about my books. I've also noticed this disturbing (and stupid) trend in discussions about popular television shows. I'll use Game of Thrones as an example, because I like that show. No spoilers, I swear, but I will discuss season 3 in general and give a few examples without names.

The main complaint that I hear about Game of Thrones is that there is too much sex and nudity. Seriously? That is what bothers people? Children are murdered, people are gored and tortured in various ways. In season three, one person was horribly mutilated and left alive to deal with the aftermath. Not to mention the big slaughter scene that blew up the internet for about a week. The slaughter scene is the only exception I can think of, where people actually complained about violence.

I'm not saying that we should all be outraged by violence. I'm simply saying that it's ridiculous to watch someone get brutally murdered and then say, "Oh, how could they put boobies in this?!"

That's so stupid it's laughable. Besides that, the show comes with a content warning. At least, it did where I purchased my copy. My books also come with a content warning. And for the thousandth time, THEY ARE NOT FULL OF SEX. Just because a book has sex in it, does not make it erotica. If the entire book is about sex, THEN it is erotica. Most books DO have sex in them, they just don't always describe it as fully as the rest of the story. I choose to describe it, people ignore the warning label, and are offended.

Having sex in the story doesn't make it porn or smut either. Do all the rated R movies get a porn label for having a sex scene or two in them? No, of course not. They get a "Rated R for sexual content" label.

Yes, this has turned into a rant. It's just so ridiculous! I could understand if it was rape. That is horrible and offensive on so many levels. But consensual sex between adults who care about each other, THAT is what offends people? What about when the villain got his heart torn out and bled to death? No takers huh?

That's just wrong. If you don't want to read a book that has sex in it, then don't. People know what offends them and what doesn't. When something is clearly labeled, why go there? Personally, I don't want to watch anything with rape or childbirth in it. If a movie is labeled for rape, I will not watch it. If it even remotely sounds like it's going to have a horrible birth scene in it, I won't watch that either. That way, I'm not offended. It's that simple!

CORRECTION: In season 3, TWO people were horribly mutilated and left alive to deal with the aftermath. ;)

I do not read within my genre

Prepare yourselves, I'm going to vent. I know that as authors we aren't supposed to EVER comment about reviews. We are supposed to just sit back and take whatever anybody wants to dish out, and act like it never happened. Yeah, right. Everyone at some point reads their own reviews and gets pissed off. It happens. We are just people like everyone else.

The thing that has bothered me since I first got published is being compared to other authors. It is both rude and presumptuous to post a review saying whom the author has read and where she/he got their inspiration from. Every time I read something like this I want to yell, "You don't know me!"

That's right, they don't. They don't know crap about me or my reading preferences. So, in order to clear up the confusion, I'm going to spell it out.

I DO NOT READ WITHIN MY GENRE. You know why? Because of crap like this.

I have not ever, nor do I ever intend to read anything by Laurrell K. Hamilton, especially not Anita Blake that I am sick of being compared to. I have nothing but respect for Hamilton, but I am sick of hearing about her books.

I have never read anything by J.R. Ward. Ever.

I have never read Anne Rice, though I do own a copy of Interview With a Vampire. It was a gift.


Here are the authors that I do enjoy.

Shakespeare - Yeah, you read that right. I have gotten lots of inspiration from old school writing.

Dean Koontz - I love his descriptions. Each time I read one of his books, it makes me a better writer.

Stephen King - I am a fan of his short stories.

Joe Hill - Horns rocked.

J.K. Rowling - While reading book 5 in the Harry Potter series, I had to stop and start writing my own series. She inspired me to take that first step. I haven't looked back since.

What's on my shelf right now? Some more Dean Koontz, Gregory McGuire's Wicked, and H.P. Lovecraft.

I realize that vampires and werewolves are not new concepts. But no one has ever told MY stories before. Why? Because I invented them. Having a similar theme or idea does not make someone a copycat. Minds who write tend to work in similar ways. The same can be said for any other job. We specialize in forming our thoughts a certain way. So, it shouldn't come as a surprise when tons of authors have similar themes. However, as long as their characters and worlds are different, who cares?

This is far different than simply not liking what someone had to say in a review. Do I think that authors should blog about that? Probably not. But this is calling me a plagiarizer! I just had someone say (in a review) how they "didn't mind" that I took all my ideas and story themes from someone else. Are you kidding me?! In what world is that okay to say to someone?!

I have never stolen an idea from anyone. I have never decided to copy a character idea from anyone. Period.

I invented the character of Lilith when I was in the 8th grade! She was my superhero. I even drew a picture of her and everything.

I looked everywhere for the picture, but can't find it right off hand. Still, somewhere in my house are my sketches, from the early 90's, of Lilith and my ideas for Dracula.

As I'm sure you all can understand, I'm furious. I never even copied off of anyone's homework assignment before, let alone stole story lines. Just like when I was in school, I HAVE MY OWN WORDS to express how I feel, and my own ideas. I don't need to borrow someone else's.

Thank you very much!

Pros and Cons of reading reviews

First, let me say that this is written tongue-in-cheek, and not to be taken seriously. This is just for laughs and perhaps a bit of therapy for myself and my fellow writers. While some of this CAN be taken seriously, most clearly cannot. LOL

TO READ                                                           NOT TO READ                                        

-I would know what people think
  about my books.                                               - Knowing changes nothing.

- I would know if someone insulted me.             - You cannot change what people say
                                                                           and defending yourself is NOT allowed.
                                                                           Neither is an anal assault with a pickaxe.
      
- What if someone called me names?                   - If someone directly insulted you,
                                                                             THEY look  like the asshole. Just
                                                                             kill them off in your next book.            
               
-What if it's really nasty?                                     - You don't have anywhere to hide
                                                                             the body.


-What if they REALLY don't like
  what I've written?                                             - SCREW THEM. You aren't going to
                                                                            change it. They can suck a fat one.
                                                                            If you're lucky, they might choke on it.      
        
-What if they are saying cruel shit?                      - It doesn't matter what they say,
                                                                            as long as people are still enjoying
                                                                            your books. Seriously, this one is for real.
 
       
-What if they don't like what some
  of the characters do?                                        - SCREW THEM. They didn't write
                                                                            the book.

- What if they say my characters
    are immoral?                                                  - That just makes them look like a prude.
                                                                            You  cannot track them down and
                                                                            smack them with a dildo.
 
- What if they are offended by
   something a character says?                            - In the words of Yoda, "Offended you
                                                                            are? A f**k I don't give." Seriously,
                                                                            you wrote each character with their
                                                                            own personality. Don't censor that
                                                                            based on what people MIGHT
                                                                            think.
         
- What if they complain about
   similarities between characters?                      - SCREW THEM. Many people have
                                                                            things in common. That does not
                                                                            mean they are not original.
         

- What if they insult me PERSONALLY?               - Let's be real here, you don't know where
                                                                             they live, so put down the baseball bat.

- Remarks I've read in the past
   really hurt my feelings.                                     - People are assholes. You can't change that.
                                                                               And you can't kill them.

- This character shared my personal
  opinion and they insulted her/him.                  - You have been insulted before, mostly by
                                                                            jealous twats. It will happen again.

- What if I am on the best seller list,
   and I don't know it because I can't
   look at the book's page?                                  - Knowing wouldn't change anything.
                                                                             And  you might accidentally see
                                                                             another display of stupidity.
                                                                             Have a hot cocoa and relax.
                                                                                             


- What if my books are getting bashed
    and I don't know?                                            - Then you won't be forced to hire
                                                                              a hacker to track them down
                                                                              so that you can stomp the jelly
                                                                              out of their skulls. After all,
                                                                              it would ruin your new shoes.
                                                                                               
In all seriousness, if the people who like your books outnumber the people who hate your books, you are doing just fine. Are you getting positive letters from readers? Great! Focus on that. THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE WRITING FOR.

Like I said, this is meant to be humorous and sarcastic. I am not actually contemplating tracking someone down and stomping the jelly out of their skull. LOL

Most of all remember, reviews are for READERS not WRITERS. I realize that many will disagree with this. But, if you work with an editor, you are already getting feedback from a professional. Your books overall ranking on Amazon (or any other site) tells you everything you need to know about everyone else's opinion all wrapped up into a number. Unless, of course, you only have one review and it's someone being a total jerk. Don't take that to heart. Wait until you have SEVERAL reviews to form an overall/more balanced perspective.

I speak from experience. Words hurt and people (on the whole) don't care whose direction they sling them in.

So, protect your sanity. Stop reading reviews and get back to work on your next book.

Another post about self-publishing

There are many misconceptions flying around out there about self-publishing. Yes, I've talked about these at length before. However, there are many people who are still very much in the dark when it comes to self-publishing. Unfortunately, everyone who self-publishes gets thrown into the general category of "hack." While there are many of these out there, not all who self-publish deserve this harsh and often hurtful label.

In particular, I'd like to clear the air about my own work.

1. I CHOSE to self-publish. I was not forced. I was not rejected over and over again by larger companies. In fact, I have several books with traditional publishers. Not as many as before, but that is because I CHOSE to cancel those contracts as they reached their expiration dates. I'm not saying this to brag, but I did not have any difficulty finding a publisher. There is also one that I plan to continue working with as I have learned a lot from them.

2. I do not turn out poorly edited/slapped together pieces of crap. Different patterns of speech and spelling variations are not errors. I'm not saying this to be a jerk, but I'm good at what I do. (Everyone should be able to feel this way about their work.) I have pride in myself and my work. I'm a professional. I look at each book as a product, not simply a creative outlet. Sure, I write because I love it. But keep in mind, this is what I do for a living. I take it seriously. Each of my books is professionally edited, several times by myself, and my writing partner/editor. Even if I write the book in only a few weeks, it will be edited for a month or more. 

3. Yes, I do my own cover art. I agree that not everyone should attempt this. I am an artist. Until  I did the cover of Frank and The Werewolf Tamer, my talents were used for my entertainment alone. I can't see paying someone to do work that I enjoy and can easily do myself. 

4. I'm not some nut job who just throws stories together and tries to make a profit. As I've already said, I put a lot of time and effort into what I do. Unfortunately, there are too many people out there who fall into this category and ARE self-publishing.

5. I am not a loser. Ha. Ha. Ha. Seriously, so many people assume this simply because I self-publish. Good grief.

6. I earn 70% on most sales for my self-published titles. Most ebook publishing contracts leave the author with 30-45%. I have bills that need to be paid. I'm a person just like everyone else.

One last thing that is slightly off topic. I am tired of getting spammed by companies (or individuals) trying to sell me some kind of promotional tools. Just because I self-publish doesn't mean I'm stupid. And obviously, I don't have the resources of a large press. Why the hell do I keep getting these types of calls and emails? 

So, for the record, if I am interested in a type of promotion or service, I will contact the company or individual. There is no need to call me on my cell or send me strange messages.

With very few exceptions, these are always scams. Sad but true. I have been contacted by a few legit companies. However, I had worked with them before, so it wasn't odd for them to send me a message.

I'm not talking about the emails from places who offer FREE promotion. I love to get those notifications. LOL Those of you who have also been spammed know what I'm talking about.

Okay, it's time for coffee ... and maybe some Skyrim. ;)

You can't please everybody

The truth of this doesn't make it any easier to handle. As a writer, I always want my readers to be pleased. I want them to enjoy the experience of my stories. So, when you read this post, don't take it the wrong way. I definitely care what readers think, and I always have.

So, what prompted this post? Well, I read someone else's blog, of course. LOL I was reading a blog that had this REALLY long list of reader pet peeves and complaints.

It went on and on about one thing and another that readers hated to see in a romance novel. Some of these were obvious. For example, nobody wants a stupid heroine or a hero who is a total jerk.

But some of them were very surprising. Who doesn't want to hear that the hero is well-endowed? Really? Why would anyone want to read a romance novel where the heroine finally got him naked and was like, "Meh?" Ha. Ha. Ha. Sorry, but that was what I pictured when I read that complaint.

Another complaint that I think is a little nit-picky is people complaining when the heroine puts herself in danger. Okay, I get this in general. Don't go running around with a pair of scissors and a lit match in a dry corn field. But seriously, people expect the heroine to not be in danger in a paranormal story? Many of these stories include danger as part of the premise. If the woman is a vampire hunter, for example, she not only has to be in danger at some point, she will likely put herself there on purpose. I understand not wanting someone too stupid to live, but there must be some danger to move the plot forward. Otherwise, it's boring and goes nowhere.

I had someone complain once that Lilith in my Werewolf Hunter series put herself in danger too much. Um, what part of werewolf hunter did they miss? It is her JOB to put herself in danger to protect other people.

The post I read went on and on about how "I want an average guy instead of a hunk all the time." There are many publishers that address this as a part of their guidelines for submitting a story. Many say that if you want to write about the guy next door, write for someone else.

Same thing about being well-endowed. I've seen guidelines that state the hero is "always gorgeous and always well-endowed.." Period. It is not up for discussion with most publishers of erotic romance.

One reader wanted the hero to be extremely alpha-male and always in charge while another said that type of take-charge behavior came off as pushy to her.

I guess my point is this, you really can't please everybody. Some people will like your stories and understand them and some won't. We all like different things.

Most importantly, DO NOT read posts like the one I mentioned and then try to write. It will kill your creativity in a heartbeat. You can't write and try to keep everyone's pet peeves in mind. If you do, you won't be able to tell the story for wondering if someone will complain about it. You will end up tearing apart every little detail and possibly lose your sanity.

I do my best to entertain. That's all any of us can do.

Coming Undone

That's what I feel like ... like I'm coming undone. My mind is raveling out at the edges and soon there will be only a few threads left. Shreds of sanity. I know that with times as tough as they are right now that I'm not the only one experiencing problems. But when you're faced with crap day after day, it can feel that way sometimes. I just feel ... lost.

I recently took another part-time job, but it looks as if I'm going to get royally screwed out of that too. *sigh* Just when I thought something was finally going to go my way. Sure, book sales are up. But I'm still new to the publishing world, people haven't really had a chance to hear about me. Mostly because I can't afford to advertise. And F***ing pirates are robing me blind.

I love to write, it's my dream. For a few minutes I feel free. When I put words onto the page it's like the rest of the world magically disappears and I get to go someplace that I'd never get to go otherwise. When I write I get to be who I truly am and experience what I was meant to do with my life. But I really can't afford to do that for free. Struggling as I am financially it enrages and at the same time breaks my heart to see my work ripped off so blatantly. It just makes it worse that I'm so broke. And it makes me even more depressed.

No matter what I do I can't seem to catch a break and it's really starting to take a toll on me. The story I'm working on now is so good. I think it's really some of my best work. But every time I try to work on it something else happens. Something sets my emotions in turmoil and the mood is lost and I can't write for at least a few hours, sometimes days .... Will I ever finish it? I hope so because I'd love to see what happens. Will the rest of my life hold off on catastrophes long enough for me to do that? Who knows.

I realize that I'm not the only one with problems and I'm not the only writer out there facing these kinds of issues. But it makes me feel better to write about it. To reach out with my words whether anyone understands or even cares what I have to say. It's therapy for me. And I readily admit I need it.

I'm a fighter by nature, but I've never been so close to throwing in the towel. I never expected being a writer to be glamorous. I never had delusions of living like an actor. But I didn't expect that people would steal hundreds of dollars of my income, which I badly need, and not even give a damn about it. You know, technically, since I give 10% of all my royalties to St. Jude, they are stealing from those kids too. If you just want to get nasty about it. I hope some ebook pirates read this and it makes them feel like crap. Not only am I going under, but they are stealing donations from children in need. Suck on that for a while.

As far as the second job business. I give up. I'm going to continue to look, simply because I don't know what else to do. But there's nothing out there. And nowhere where they won't stab you in the back. It only took this new place two weeks. Hell, that's a record even for me. I won't get into all of it and I won't name names, but I will briefly explain what happened. I was hired (out of nowhere) for a job and I was being trained for a higher position. After two weeks, suddenly a woman who had previously quit called up and gets her job back. You guessed it, the position I was being trained to do. Their excuse? We needed someone who was already trained. Bullshit! What were they doing with me then? Wasting my time, that's what. So now my hours are cut AND I don't get the position that I was told was already mine. Ain't that some crap? Who the hell just calls up and says they want their job back? Something is dirty there. You don't quit and then just "get" your job back. Something is not right.

But that's the hell I'm in at the moment and the main reason that I'm so depressed tonight. I'm trying hard not to have a panic attack, wondering what I'm going to do now. Without the money to advertise, no one will ever hear about me ..... and I can't afford to do anything but write .... with piracy being what it is ... I really can't afford to do that much longer.

Unless something changes drastically and very soon .... I'm screwed.

Rant about Piracy

I found this article http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=3151 while looking for steps to take to get my works off of an illegal site. It explains in detail why it is illegal to share ebook files.

Some of you (who have dealt with this before) have probably already heard of them (the ones who are ripping me off). But I'm not listing the site. I'll be damned if I give the little bastards any free advertisement!

I just found that they are ripping off every single book in my series. Not only that, but it lists how many times the books have been downloaded. As it stands now, I've lost over $400 dollars.
That counts, trust me. I have lost two different day jobs because of budget cuts/bad economy. And some little snot is going to rip me off?!!

I am also not married to someone rich. So I need the money. Hell, that's a car payment they've cheated me out of!

It is because of crap like this that I question my sanity sometimes. Do these punks even realize how little writers get paid? Not that they would probably care. Most authors, even if they are well known, make less than $10,000 a year. That's below poverty level! And let me tell you I am in that lot. In my first full year of being published I was WELL below $10,000.

Making a name for yourself takes time and you guessed it, MONEY. Something these little pricks are screwing me out of at an alarming rate.

No, this may not be the most professional blog post, but it is honest. This is how I feel and I'm not going to apologize for that. I am FURIOUS that these people are stealing from me. And yes, I have taken steps to make them remove the content. My polite and professional emails have been responded to with a "it will be removed in 24 hours." Bullshit. It's still there days later.

BELOW THIS POINT IS DIRECTED TO ANYONE WHO IS RIPPING OFF MYSELF OR OTHER HARD WORKING AUTHORS.

Just in case someone who uploads books for free reads this and doesn't read the link I have given above, let me spell something out for you. Giving away an ebook is ILLEGAL.

It's not like purchasing a paperback. A paper copy is yours. It is a physical product you can pay for and hold in your hand. You can do with it what you like. With the exception of making copies and distributing them to others.

NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE!!!! If you send an ebook to someone else, you are making copies. It's the same as if you Xeroxed a print book and sent it to all of your friends. The author nor the publisher profits from that and most writers are like me, they need the money.

Every time you see a copyright notice (which is in the front of all print and ebooks) that means that the people listed there are the owners of that content. Unless you have their permission to distribute the book, you are breaking the law if you do so.

How would you feel if someone stole your purse and handed out all the contents to strangers? Or if someone stole your iPod and then sold it on ebay? It sucks, I know.

I'm not looking to scare anyone or to get involved in a lawsuit. I just want people to respect the right of myself and other authors to be able to profit from their hard work. No one would want to work for a month (or months) and then have their paycheck snatched out of their hand when they had bills to pay, now would they?

Some day these people will get what they deserve.