Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Pros and Cons of reading reviews

First, let me say that this is written tongue-in-cheek, and not to be taken seriously. This is just for laughs and perhaps a bit of therapy for myself and my fellow writers. While some of this CAN be taken seriously, most clearly cannot. LOL

TO READ                                                           NOT TO READ                                        

-I would know what people think
  about my books.                                               - Knowing changes nothing.

- I would know if someone insulted me.             - You cannot change what people say
                                                                           and defending yourself is NOT allowed.
                                                                           Neither is an anal assault with a pickaxe.
- What if someone called me names?                   - If someone directly insulted you,
                                                                             THEY look  like the asshole. Just
                                                                             kill them off in your next book.            
-What if it's really nasty?                                     - You don't have anywhere to hide
                                                                             the body.

-What if they REALLY don't like
  what I've written?                                             - SCREW THEM. You aren't going to
                                                                            change it. They can suck a fat one.
                                                                            If you're lucky, they might choke on it.      
-What if they are saying cruel shit?                      - It doesn't matter what they say,
                                                                            as long as people are still enjoying
                                                                            your books. Seriously, this one is for real.
-What if they don't like what some
  of the characters do?                                        - SCREW THEM. They didn't write
                                                                            the book.

- What if they say my characters
    are immoral?                                                  - That just makes them look like a prude.
                                                                            You  cannot track them down and
                                                                            smack them with a dildo.
- What if they are offended by
   something a character says?                            - In the words of Yoda, "Offended you
                                                                            are? A f**k I don't give." Seriously,
                                                                            you wrote each character with their
                                                                            own personality. Don't censor that
                                                                            based on what people MIGHT
- What if they complain about
   similarities between characters?                      - SCREW THEM. Many people have
                                                                            things in common. That does not
                                                                            mean they are not original.

- What if they insult me PERSONALLY?               - Let's be real here, you don't know where
                                                                             they live, so put down the baseball bat.

- Remarks I've read in the past
   really hurt my feelings.                                     - People are assholes. You can't change that.
                                                                               And you can't kill them.

- This character shared my personal
  opinion and they insulted her/him.                  - You have been insulted before, mostly by
                                                                            jealous twats. It will happen again.

- What if I am on the best seller list,
   and I don't know it because I can't
   look at the book's page?                                  - Knowing wouldn't change anything.
                                                                             And  you might accidentally see
                                                                             another display of stupidity.
                                                                             Have a hot cocoa and relax.

- What if my books are getting bashed
    and I don't know?                                            - Then you won't be forced to hire
                                                                              a hacker to track them down
                                                                              so that you can stomp the jelly
                                                                              out of their skulls. After all,
                                                                              it would ruin your new shoes.
In all seriousness, if the people who like your books outnumber the people who hate your books, you are doing just fine. Are you getting positive letters from readers? Great! Focus on that. THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE WRITING FOR.

Like I said, this is meant to be humorous and sarcastic. I am not actually contemplating tracking someone down and stomping the jelly out of their skull. LOL

Most of all remember, reviews are for READERS not WRITERS. I realize that many will disagree with this. But, if you work with an editor, you are already getting feedback from a professional. Your books overall ranking on Amazon (or any other site) tells you everything you need to know about everyone else's opinion all wrapped up into a number. Unless, of course, you only have one review and it's someone being a total jerk. Don't take that to heart. Wait until you have SEVERAL reviews to form an overall/more balanced perspective.

I speak from experience. Words hurt and people (on the whole) don't care whose direction they sling them in.

So, protect your sanity. Stop reading reviews and get back to work on your next book.


Denysé Bridger said...

Tracey - this is wonderful!!! And so true. Well done. Hugs, Denyse

Tracey H. Kitts said...

Thanks, Denyse. :) I'm glad you liked it. I hope everyone will get a laugh and not think I'm a psycho. LOL

Larisa Edwards said... husband thinks I'm nuts, I kept giggling at the responses. People can be cruel when stating their opinions, but it's important to remember it is just one persons opinion. You can't please everyone, and as long as someone is pleased you did a good job.