Food for thought

Writing is a lonely job. When you finish a book, it represents far more than whatever the story is about. It's hours of lost sleep. It's time away from your family and friends. It's a piece of who you are and what you are all about. Likely the only one who will ever fully understand that is YOU.

I'm not saying people won't enjoy your work, or that they won't understand it. I'm saying that everyone reads things from a different perspective. They have their own ideas and prejudices from the beginning, just like you do when you write.

Knowing that you are the only one who will ever really know what that book was about, that is pretty lonely.

If you try to explain that to someone, you will likely be asked, "Why did you decide to become a writer then?"

You don't exactly "decide" to become a writer. You either are one, or you are not. I am, and I've always been, a writer.

I am truly and deeply grateful that after six years of hard work, my books are finally taking off. That's great and I am thrilled. However, this means that I am exposed to more and more people, which means more and more assholes will attack me simply because I'm right in front of them.

When I go out I have a 50/50 chance of being recognized either because someone read my book/books and loved it or because they hate my guts and think they could do better. I simply do not understand all the hatred. It is never okay to behave that way.

If you don't like what I write, then don't read it. Move on to something that is more to your liking and don't be a dick to me for writing what I enjoy.

If you think you can do better then by all means, do it. I sincerely wish you luck. If you want to write, then write. Go for it. Don't sit around hating other people because they have accomplished their goals. I'm sure they worked their asses off to be where they are.

While I am beyond excited to see my books climbing the charts, I am also heartbroken because I can no longer watch that climb. Why? Well, because I am sick of my books getting trolled. If I look at that shit I'll never be able to write another word. Reading hurtful reviews (or even good ones sometimes) can cripple a writer. You won't be able to put anything on the page for fear that people won't understand it, or they will attack you for it. I can't do that. This is what pays my bills and I have to keep writing. Therefore, I can no longer look at my rankings because it is impossible to see that without seeing reviews.

Do me a favor everyone? Before you reply in an email to someone or write a review, or communicate with anyone in any way ... think about it. Realize that there is an actual person with thoughts and feelings on the receiving end of your words. If they haven't done anything personally to you, then don't attack them on a personal level. What if you were on the receiving end of your letter or review? Would it upset you, or hurt your feelings? If so, then don't send it.

Just some food for thought.

Is this stuff contagious?

Something awful is spreading around the internet. It's not a zombie virus, but it also seems to attack the brain. I'm talking about the way authors are treated.

It seems that people are supposed to be able to say anything they like and never have an author respond. Reviewers are getting nastier by the second. And I'm not just talking about how they treat me. This is an epidemic.

Everywhere you go (where books are reviewed) someone is getting flamed. Whatever happened to professionalism? Or even just courtesy for someone else's feelings?

I am sick to death of people saying that an author should have a thick skin. Don't give me that crap! People behave horribly and I'm supposed to just ignore it?

Sure, if someone doesn't like an element of the book, I can brush that off. One random person will always feel differently than the majority. That is normal.

I don't know what's up with people attacking authors these days. I wrote to a reviewer (for the first time EVER in my life) to say that I found her words hurtful. I was polite and professional. I pointed out why I felt that way and I did this PRIVATELY not on her blog. I felt I had the right to express my opinion.

I got back the most horrible flaming email. Apparently, having an opinion these days is interpreted as starting a fight.

It's enough to make me want to get out of the business. This is sickening. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Some reviewers feel slighted if the author doesn't respond to their review. Others are upset to know the author read it, even if the review was great.

No matter who you are or what you write, someone will always hate it. To make matters worse, anyone with internet access can say and do any damn thing they want. There is also an entire generation out there that manners do not apply to, or so it seems. I don't even think they've heard the word.

It's very discouraging to someone who tries to take the feelings of others into consideration.

Sure, this is my dream ... but I wonder more and more if this overly drama queen inhabited industry is one I want to stay in.

I'm a writer, so I write. It's who I am. What the hell am I supposed to do? I sometimes want to quit, but I don't know how.

How much do reviews matter to you?

I've often wondered how important reviews actually are. I try to look at it objectively and not just from the perspective of an author. So, I'll answer the question as honestly as I can from both perspectives.

As an author, it's wonderful to know when someone loved my book. However, it's also more likely that people who HATE it will leave a review. I'm not sure why this is true, but it seems to be. People who love the story seem more likely to send me an email. Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate this. Kind words do wonders for encouraging me and keeping me motivated to do what I love. I suppose the people who leave bad reviews do so because they just want to "hate and run." LOL Sending an email might actually open up *gasp* a dialogue between them and the author.

Constructive criticism is often difficult to hear, but totally understandable. Everyone sees things differently and has different opinions. However, bashing an author on a personal level is horrible and should never be considered a review. As a rule, I don't respond to reviews. I have broken that rule once when someone actually called me names. That's right, they attacked ME, not THE BOOK. Still, I was professional and to the point. And I only responded ONCE. (By the way, that review was removed by the site for violating policy. Yes, it was that bad.)

Also, it seems that many bad reviews are planted delibrately by others who seek only to make the author and their work look bad. Why anyone would put such effort into bashing someone else is beyond me, but it happens.

I've read in several blog posts and online discussions that reviewers are uncomfortable when an author responds, even if it's to say "thank you." So, unless someone draws my attention to a review they posted, I don't even do that.

I sincerely appreciate someone taking the time to read and review my work. I read a post yesterday in which the individual said they thought it was tacky for an author to post links to "great reviews." Seriously? We aren't allowed to gush when someone totally gets us and what we were trying to say?

Anyway, as an author, I think that reviews only matter to me when they are in reference to my books. (Sorry, didn't mean to go into a rant.)

As a reader, which I've been all my life, I tend to overlook reviews for the most part. Most of the time, I've already made up my mind to purchase the book based on a few factors.

1. The cover art must catch my attention. I'm sorry to say, but I really do judge books by their cover.

2. Price is the next thing I look at. I'm most likely to purchase the book if it's under $5. The cheaper it is, the more likely I am to buy it.

3. The blurb. I read the book's description. If it sounds like something I might like, the cover looks good, and the price is right, I'll buy it.

Beyond that, I might glance at the reviews, but they have only once changed my mind. That was because I saw a book had rape in it, which I have no desire to read about. (Or see in a movie for that matter.)

Even before I was published, I only glanced at reviews if I was bored or had a spare minute. And they still didn't matter to me. In particular the really bad, ranting and raving reviews (in my opinion) only made the reviewer look bad, not the author.

So, that's my 2 cents on the subject. How much do reviews matter to you?

Why are some reviewers so cruel?

We've all read them, nasty reviews. Whether they were about a book we wrote or not, everyone has read at least one scathing review and cringed. The reason I'm writing about this is because it's been on my mind.

First let me say I don't expect everyone to like everything I write. Of course, that would be wonderful, but nothing is perfect. I've read plenty of books I didn't like. But, even before I was a published author it never occurred to me to write a rude review or reveal the plot in a public forum.

I cannot imagine why someone would behave this way. Most professional reviewers are just that professional. Let me make it clear that these are NOT the folks I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone who decides to half pay attention to the book, then quote it incorrectly, and give away every single plot twist in a "review." There are also those who call the author names. Or use words to describe the story like "stupid." That's just plain rude.

I had this happen to me recently and was caught between shock and horror. I still am. I keep asking, "Why would anyone do this?" Why not just say, "I didn't like the book because the plot didn't work for me, etc." Why be a jerk?

Anyway, I'm still baffled by this behavior. I suppose it falls into the confusing category along with why some people think a 3 star rating is good.

It's not just that I've been insulted. I've been published for 4 years this month and believe me my hide has gotten pretty thick. For some reason this reviewer's rude remarks really got to me.

Everyone who wants to improve their craft does want feedback, but there's a way to offer it: minus name calling and in a professional manner. Otherwise it's just hostile and while the author may read it and have their feelings hurt, that's likely all it will accomplish.

It's hard not to take things like that personally when you put so much time and effort into a story. It makes me wonder if I've done something to the reviewer (unintentionally since I do not speak to people that way) to make them treat me like that. I say me and not my book, because the review in question was so insulting it was personal.

I suppose my point is, if you review books and you come across one you don't like, at least be kind in your remarks and thoughtful of how you say you didn't enjoy the book. Think how you might feel if someone scanned 3 months of your life/work in 3 hours and called it crap.

It's perfectly all right to not like everything. Hell, it's a free country. All I'm saying is, there's no reason to be mean. The author didn't write that book just to piss you off/ruin your day/week, or whatever. I swear.