Food for thought

Writing is a lonely job. When you finish a book, it represents far more than whatever the story is about. It's hours of lost sleep. It's time away from your family and friends. It's a piece of who you are and what you are all about. Likely the only one who will ever fully understand that is YOU.

I'm not saying people won't enjoy your work, or that they won't understand it. I'm saying that everyone reads things from a different perspective. They have their own ideas and prejudices from the beginning, just like you do when you write.

Knowing that you are the only one who will ever really know what that book was about, that is pretty lonely.

If you try to explain that to someone, you will likely be asked, "Why did you decide to become a writer then?"

You don't exactly "decide" to become a writer. You either are one, or you are not. I am, and I've always been, a writer.

I am truly and deeply grateful that after six years of hard work, my books are finally taking off. That's great and I am thrilled. However, this means that I am exposed to more and more people, which means more and more assholes will attack me simply because I'm right in front of them.

When I go out I have a 50/50 chance of being recognized either because someone read my book/books and loved it or because they hate my guts and think they could do better. I simply do not understand all the hatred. It is never okay to behave that way.

If you don't like what I write, then don't read it. Move on to something that is more to your liking and don't be a dick to me for writing what I enjoy.

If you think you can do better then by all means, do it. I sincerely wish you luck. If you want to write, then write. Go for it. Don't sit around hating other people because they have accomplished their goals. I'm sure they worked their asses off to be where they are.

While I am beyond excited to see my books climbing the charts, I am also heartbroken because I can no longer watch that climb. Why? Well, because I am sick of my books getting trolled. If I look at that shit I'll never be able to write another word. Reading hurtful reviews (or even good ones sometimes) can cripple a writer. You won't be able to put anything on the page for fear that people won't understand it, or they will attack you for it. I can't do that. This is what pays my bills and I have to keep writing. Therefore, I can no longer look at my rankings because it is impossible to see that without seeing reviews.

Do me a favor everyone? Before you reply in an email to someone or write a review, or communicate with anyone in any way ... think about it. Realize that there is an actual person with thoughts and feelings on the receiving end of your words. If they haven't done anything personally to you, then don't attack them on a personal level. What if you were on the receiving end of your letter or review? Would it upset you, or hurt your feelings? If so, then don't send it.

Just some food for thought.

The internet creates lunatics

By now, most of us have encountered them. The people who believe they can say and do anything because this is the internet and you don't really know who they are. People who would never call you a piece of crap to your face suddenly have no qualms about saying that and much worse, simply because you have no way of seeking revenge. It is a viscous and frightening cycle, one that I do my very best to avoid.

Over the weekend, I read where a Facebook friend of mine has been going through quite an ordeal with online bullying. I was also re-watching season 2 of The Walking Dead this weekend. I won't give any spoilers, but I am going to use the show as a reference point.

When I saw this scene with Dale and Shane, suddenly something clicked.

Dale: This is where you belong, Shane.

Shane: How's that, Dale?

Dale: This world, what it is now, this is where you belong. And I may not have what it takes to last for long, but that's okay. 'Cause at least I can say when the world goes to shit, I didn't let it take me down with it.

Something in my brain said, "That is just like the internet!" Yes, the internet is (in a way) the zombie apocalypse. LOL Bear with me. We all sit here and veg out, staring (possibly drooling) at the screen. And we lash out at each other as if it's the end of the world and our actions no longer have consequences. "What does it matter? They don't know me?" Right? I've heard people say as much.

At one point, I was in a constant state of distress. I was upset by negative reviews or nasty letters I had received or both. I lived in fear of being judged both personally and professionally. I was turning into a Shane. I wanted to lash back at those who had hurt me.

Thankfully, I also know someone like Dale who gave me a moral slap in the face. (Not a literal one. LOL) She reminded me that that is not the kind of person I want to be. If I were to respond in kind, I would be no better, and thus their sickness spreads. (See what I did there?)

I was allowing their comments to turn me into Shane when I really wanted to be more like Daryl. Ha. Ha. Okay, enough with The Walking Dead references. My point is, if it is at all possible to avoid these types of people, then avoid them. No one needs that kind of negativity in their life.

If a particular review site causes you grief, don't go there. If you are getting threatening emails from someone, block them. The same goes for Facebook. If someone is harassing you, block and report them. I understand that there are times when things are not handled so simply. I get that. However, most of the time, the situation can be as simple as we want it to be.

The fact is that whether or not someone actually knows you is irrelevant. It should matter that WE know ourselves and we will have to live with our actions. I don't want to wake up tomorrow knowing that I hurt some person I didn't even know with my careless words.

Just because the world has gone to shit when it comes to decency, don't let it take you with it.