Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Thank goodness it's only once a year

For those of you who know me, you know I try my best to remain positive. However, that is difficult when I'm not getting enough sleep and the stress of the holiday season has not yet passed. Or perhaps I should say, it has passed but I haven't recovered. It's the one time of year that I don't feel great, simply because there is so much damn pressure to be in a good mood. Everyone is supposed to be magically happy, no matter what is going on in their lives. Give me a break. Most days I am grateful for my life and everything in it. There are few days that go by that I don't remember to be thankful for my blessings. And yet nothing makes me feel worse than the holiday season. Me! The one who is always cracking jokes and wearing a genuine smile.

Today is my day to post on a shared blog and I try to remain upbeat and positive. Unfortunately, the post below is what came out when I started writing. I didn't have anything good to say, but I couldn't say nothing at all. It was my scheduled day. I couldn't think of a single recipe to share. I didn't want to post about one of my books because that seemed like drive-by promo and I didn't want to do that. And don't even get me started on New Year's resolutions. No offense to anyone who has blogged about resolutions. They are a fine thing if they work for you. The do not work for me. Rather it makes me feel inadequate, as if I'm facing a mountain that I must immediately try to climb even though I don't have the right shoes.

Anyway, I figured I couldn't be the only one who is glad the holidays are over. So, I thought I would share my post here as well.

I'm glad the holidays are over.

Wow. That sounds so bad when I say it out loud, but it's true. The thing is, most people don't understand my reasoning. Recently, my sister-in-law asked me, "What did you get for Christmas?" I could barely summon the will to answer her. What I wanted to say was, "Does it matter?" What I actually said was, "I can't think straight to remember."

This was the day after Christmas. I was doing my best to be sure everything was in the oven that needed to be. My mother-in-law (sweet lady) had just had back surgery and I was helping with our holiday get together. This Christmas was particularly hard. My husband lost his grandmother and then his sister in a matter of 6 weeks this past spring. Oh, and some jackass hit my dog with a car on Christmas Eve.

Sam, my beautiful big baby is going to recover. Unfortunately, his right eye still looks horrible and he will most likely be blind on that side.

My sister-in-law knew all of this and still she asks me if I had I good Christmas. Hell no, I didn't have a good Christmas!

The fact that Rita (my husband's sister) wasn't there was just as tangible as if she had been. My heart hadn't finished breaking over one thing before one after another was piled on.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't summon a happy face for anyone but my mother-in-law, who had lost her daughter and her mother this year. If anyone deserves a hug and a smile, it's that dear woman. Who by the way, was kind enough with all that was going on with her to say she was praying for my poor dog.

I hate the holidays. They are filled with obligations and rush, rush, rush. When I told my sister-in-law that, "I'm not much of a Christmas person." She asked, "What holiday do you like?" I answered honestly, "Halloween." She made a face and proceeded in a holier-than-thou voice to say, "We don't do Halloween." As if the fact that I enjoy the holiday means I worship the devil.

You know why I enjoy Halloween? Because it happens right in the middle of my favorite time of year. The weather is beginning to change, pumpkins are ripe, and you can give candy to children without anyone thinking you're a weirdo. It is a pleasant, no-obligation holiday and I like that.

I realize this is supposed to be a fun and flirty blog by nature and I apologize for my shortcomings today. I'm normally a very upbeat person. I find a way to look on the bright side even if I have to invent a bright side. But I am also very honest by nature and I must say that I am thrilled that the holidays are over.

And there you go, my holiday rant. It feels good to get that out.

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