Monday, November 10, 2008

Research and rambling

I just finished a book a few weeks ago so it's not like I haven't been busy. Still, I'm doing some research and looking for new ideas. I'm always looking for ideas and I've got plenty, just none that scream out to be written at the moment.

As much as I try to take longer breaks between novels, I need something to occupy my mind. Sometimes reading does that for me and other times it can't. Things are bad all over right now, economy wise and I won't lie and say it hasn't affected me and my family. Of course it has. I've only been writing professionally for a little over a year and it isn't my only job. I don't think there's any shame in admitting I have to do something else for a full income. After all, it takes time and effort to build an audience. I'm just grateful for the readers I have:) And I hope to attract the interest of more readers as I continue to hone my craft.

But like I said, things are down for me. No point in pretending they're not. I'm doing the best I can as I'm sure many others are. I've just learned that my other job, which makes up the other half of my income, is about to be eliminated. Needless to say, I'm not in a good mood.

I know I'm not the only person going through tough times right now, that's why I decided to write about it. I normally don't get into anything too personal on my blog. I don't share anything that doesn't have to do with writing or the occasional random thought. But, I don't think it's unprofessional to let people know that I'm a real person just like them. I've got real issues just like them. I don't just sit around and write and live a charmed, bon-bon filled life. (Not that anyone ever accused me of it, but you get my point.)

A lot of people are hurting right now and I'm one of them. Like I said, I need something to focus my mind and energy on and right now it's research. There's something else that keeps coming to mind and I'd like to share it with you. I have watched Rocky Balboa about six times. I even bought a copy of the movie, which is something I don't do a lot of anymore. If you haven't watched it, it's worth seeing, even if you don't like the Rocky films.

At one point in the movie he tells his son, "You ain't gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. [taps on the inside of his hand] I'd hold you up and say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege.

Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.

I cry just reading that again. I keep telling myself that it ain't about how many times I get hit. It's about how many times I can get hit and get back up. This is me, getting up again.


Sloane Taylor said...

You have powerful stamina, Tracey. I admire you.

Not only will you get back up, you'll surpass the crowd. Hang in there, babe, you're writing is superb and there's a big future for you in this profession.

MAGGI said...

Someone who writes as well as you do, Tracey, will, in the not too distant future, make enough money from writing to give up the other jobs. You've made great inroads in this profession in a very short time and that's because of one thing: talent.

Tracey H. Kitts said...

Sloane, Maggi, I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. Both comments brought tears to my eyes. Have you ever been upset/worried over something and someone says something to you and it just ... clicks?

It was like that when I read your comments. I guess you guys said exactly what I needed to hear. It means a lot to me to know that people believe in me other than my husband. (God bless him) I tease him and say that's just because he has to live with me:)

My stamina has been in question a bit lately, but only by myself. I'm a fighter by nature (a kickboxer to be exact) and I needed to be reminded of that. Thanks again guys, it means a lot to me.

Sloane Taylor said...

Just hang in there lady. I know you can do it.

Kickboxing? I am impressed!

Tracey H. Kitts said...

LOL Thanks:) I've been kickboxing since I was 18. Let's just say that's been a little while now.

And I do really appreciate the support:)