Things people say to writers

Since I write for a living, I'm sure you all could guess that I'm friends with a lot of other writers. Naturally, we talk sometimes. LOL When I first started to earn a living at this, I wondered if I was alone in some of the strange or straight-up rude messages I got from time to time. I'm not. Apparently, it's a thing. People will say anything to a writer. 

Here are only a few examples. And no, I'm not posting this to be a bitch. LOL Before I got in this business, I never would have dreamed that people would act like this. This post is just to share some of what myself and others have to deal with, some of us on a daily basis. Think of it as an FYI to aspiring writers and what they might encounter. For everyone else, just think of it as entertainment. 

Please, do not interpret any of this to mean that I do not want to hear from readers. Of course I do! I love my readers. You guys are hella cool. LOL I'm talking about very odd, and rude individuals who probably shouldn't communicate with anybody. 

1. We get emails/PMs from people telling us all the corrections we need to make in our book. 

Wow. Just wow. This is SO rude. Unless you are an editor who works for that person, this is never cool. It's one thing to point out a misspelling on such-and-such page, like if you're a reader and you just want to give them a heads up. But to offer a detailed critique that no one asked for is extremely off-putting and presumptuous. All the writers I know hire professional editors, many times more than one, to go over each book. Plus, we edit them ourselves. 

Occasionally mistakes do happen. That does not mean the book was not edited or that we turn out quickly slapped together garbage. It means we are human beings. Also, some words are spelled differently here in the US than they are in say, the UK. That doesn't mean they are wrong. I'm American. I spell words the American way. 

I know many people who have received this type of message. I don't know of any who were not either hurt, insulted, or both.

2. People send us tons of story ideas that they want us to write.

First off, this is a big legal no-no for us. Legally, I cannot look at someone else's story. I never want anyone to be able to say they think I stole from them or that I was influenced by their work in any way. Genre writers are bound to run into many similarities, simply due to the nature of what they write. That's different.

I've had people send me emails with lots of attachments of how they want a story to be written. First, I don't open attachments. Ever. Second, I delete these messages almost as soon as I realize what they are. I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's a legal issue. 

Besides, why would anyone want someone else to tell their story?

3. Someone always thinks they know what SHOULD have happened in the story.

This one is also very insulting. I've read lots of stories where I wish things had happened differently. But, it wasn't my story to tell. The writer told the story that was in their heart and I read it. I don't have to agree with every decision to enjoy it. And I would never presume to tell them how they should have written their story.

4. People want to send us graphic details of their sex lives for story fodder.

Yes, this really happens. We are human beings, we do have our own experiences to draw from. And even if we didn't, the majority of us would be weirded out to get this type of message from a stranger. LOL Hell, I don't want to get it from people I KNOW.

There are many more examples of this kind of stuff, but these are the top 4 that I've encountered. Oh, and I also get lots of pics of male genitalia. Really. Just because my stories have sex in them does not mean I write filth. There's a WHOLE STORY in there. The sex scenes do not take up the whole book.

If you are thinking of being a writer for a living, just know that at some point you will get these kinds of messages. Sometimes, it's funny. But as your career grows and you have less and less time to answer messages, getting an email full of snark and self-righteousness can ruin your day.

Oh, and if you ever write about sex, even for a brief second, be prepared for the dick pics. They are out there, and they will find you. LOL

I'm working on it. :)

I get asked fairly often why my next book isn't ready yet. LOL The question might be worded differently but it's all the same.

"If you write a little every day, you must be really slow."

"Why isn't so-and-so out yet?"

"OMG! I've been waiting forever!"

While I'm thrilled that people want to read my work that much, I'm only one person.

Yes, I do write a little bit every day when I'm working on a project. The truth is though, I might only get 30 minutes to myself that day. I'm responsible for a lot besides my actual job. I'm not going to list it all here, but it's a lot. 

Yes, writing is my only "job." That doesn't mean that when I'm not writing I'm sitting around on my butt. That is a big misconception about writers. And it's pretty insulting.

There are very few days where I have the whole day to work. I simply can't get that much peace and quiet or time alone. Most of the time, even when I am alone, I have other things that I have to take care of. That doesn't mean that writing isn't important. It means that if my pets get fed and walked, I have to do it. If the house gets cleaned, I have to do that to. See what I mean?

I've had people tell me, "The house will wait on you." Exactly. And knowing that it will only get worse until I clean it gives me a serious anxiety attack. LOL I cannot write if the house is filthy. I just can't. It doesn't have to be perfect, just clean and semi-neat.

I also have insomnia. This affects me really drastically sometimes. I sleep when I can finally sleep, or I'd never get any rest at all. Sometimes I'm awake until all hours and end up sleeping until noon. That's not because I'm lazy, it's because I was finally able to rest and I basically passed out.

I've also got a pretty aggressive release schedule for 2016. I'll be putting out one book a month.

Anyway, this post isn't to gripe or complain. I am very grateful that people enjoy my books. But to be honest, getting comments asking me why I don't write faster makes me feel like shit. It's all about how it's worded. I'm not talking about people who just want to know a release date. That is a different matter entirely.

I do what I can, and I do it just as fast as I can. 

Positive vibrations and stuff. LOL

I realize I haven't posted anything on here in a while. I keep saying it's because I'm busy, and that IS true. What's also true is I've been bogged down in depression.

I've improved significantly since last year. I consider 2015 the worst year of my life, emotionally. And though I've improved, I've still been feeling so...BLAH. It's just not like me and I'm sick of it.

I've had bouts with depression in the past, but not often, and never anything that even came close to last year. That was ridiculous! So, I got to asking myself, "What changed?"

Here it is ... BIG REVEAL ... I stopped being grateful. 

Now, I know some of you are thinking, "What a crock of sh**." Right? Ha. Ha.

I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. I have used it to great effect in my life and I know, that I KNOW, that it works. So, why was I suddenly in such a hole emotionally?

It was a gradual decline. What you think about, you bring about. If you walk around feeling stressed out and worrying about bills, etc., you are going to bring more of that into your life. You are attracting it to you, whatever it is, good or bad.

I had more stress in my life as a result of an increase in my business (writing). And I let it get the better of me. Rather than focusing on how grateful I was to be able to do what I love (as I'd done in the past), I began to focus on, "How can I keep up this pace?" "Will I make enough to afford a new roof?" And the very worst, I began to wonder if I deserved this success. That was the most damaging of all. Yes, I do deserve to succeed at what I've worked hard for, and so do you. Never doubt that.

A few days ago I began to make a mental list of the practices I used to do, daily, that improved my life. Then, I began to implement them again. This is the third day and already I am in a completely different state of being.

What you think about is not as important as how you feel. That is a very important fact that I'd forgotten. I needed to feel good, and I needed to do it fast. One of the fastest ways for me to do that is to watch the movie, The Secret. I know a lot of people think it's bull. That's fine. You don't have to believe in order for it to work for me. LOL

This isn't anything religious. In fact, I'm not a fan of religion, on the whole. This is science. We all vibrate at a certain frequency. Different thoughts and corresponding emotions change that frequency. We attract people and circumstances into our lives that match our frequency. It's as simple as that. If you walk around angry and feeling like crap, you will attract angry, crappy people into your life.

I don't want that!

So, when a negative thought crosses my mind, I immediately replace it with a positive thought, and a sense of gratitude.

Here's an example. "I haven't been able to workout as much lately. I'm afraid I'll gain weight."

I replace that with, "I'm getting more exercise today than I was last week. I am so thankful for my beautiful, healthy body."

OR

"What if people don't like this book and I've put all this time and energy into it?"

I replace that with, "Readers have specifically asked me for a sequel, so someone DOES like this. I am so thankful to be able to do what I love for a living."

It might sound like a load of hippy crap, but it's working for me. There is always something to be grateful for. That feeling of gratitude will bring more things into your life to be thankful for. Even if you're having the worst day of your life right now, you can read this, can't you? Be grateful for your eyesight, or that you have a computer. See what I mean?

It takes effort, but eventually, it will become second nature to me again. That's what I'm working toward.

I hope this helps someone else who might have been in the same type of emotional black hole. There is a way out. You can survive.